style - cafe mocha reflections

Fashion Trends I Can No Longer Wear

May 7, 2013 by Whitney 14 Comments

I consider myself to be fashion forward, have style and try to keep up with trends that fit my age, style and body type. You can see I have some style from my Polyvore activities. It’s one thing I just have a hard time working with, skinny jeans. The word “skinny” should have let me know they weren’t for me, not this woman. I own two pair and they are the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever owned. I have them in the correct size, but my issue is I’m bottom heavy, hips and thighs. They suck the life out of my poor thighs when I wear them! If I buy them too big, then they are huge in the waist.

I always wear a long top, whether it’s a sweater, t-shirt or tunic because I believe I need the coverage. Being bottom heavy, I try to be distracting if you know what I mean. One thing about me, if it’s not comfortable, it gets eliminated. I tried but I’m gonna have to put my skinny jeans to rest. I can pick an alternative like straight leg, they have more thigh room. I don’t typically wear jeans when the weather warms up because they are too hot, but with spring coming in so late I’m still wearing jeans and pants. These ankle slacks work well for me during the warmer months and I can put boots on with them during fall and winter months.

Source: Cafe Mocha Reflections via Marie Denee, The Curvy Fashionista on Pinterest

This is a nice alternative for me, not as restricting and gives more.

I always wear a long top, whether sweater, t-shirt or tunic because I believe I need the coverage. One thing about me, if it’s not comfortable, it gets eliminated. I tried but I’m gonna have to put my skinny jeans to rest. I can pick an alternative like straight leg, they have more thigh room. I don’t typically wear jeans when the weather warms up because they are too hot, but with spring coming in so late I’m still wearing jeans and pants. I plan to add them to my donate bag and give them away this summer.

The next trend that I tried but can’t do is platform stilettos that are over 4 inches with a 1 inch platform. Anything over that, I can’t do. We are talking sprang ankles and other serious injury here. I can’t walk in them, I walk like Herman the Monster, not a good look. I love most of them, some are too high, but I definitely stay in my lane with these, I don’t even play. This reality happened about two years ago, I bought a cute pair of slingback, platform pumps and walked all over the store in them. I pulled them out to wear to church and about broke my neck in them. I was gonna take them back, but I had them so long I decided to keep them and give them to my best friend when she came to town last year. She loved them and I was glad they had a good home. I love the stilettos but they are out of my league.

Source: Cafe Mocha Reflections via Cassie Washington on Pinterest

These are more my style and comfort level, I own quite a few pairs of wedges. They are versatile and I can wear them with dresses or slacks. Now I will say if they are 5 inches or more I can’t do them either. I really like these.

Source: Cafe Mocha Reflections via Meggan Delmonico on Pinterest

I always take a pair of flats with me when appropriate, I know I will need them by the end of the evening or after church. If I’m are attending an event where I will be on my feet for a while, I always take my flat ballerinas that roll up and go in my purse.

Just a few changes I’m making regarding my style. Style is important, but what is equally important is comfort. How do you make the trends work for you?

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Filed Under: Fashion and Style Tagged With: fashions for over 50, jeans, shoes, slacks, style

My Relationship With Spanx

March 11, 2013 by Whitney 8 Comments

I have a love/hate relationship with Spanx. As a matter of fact, it’s a necessary relationship with the product. I’m not sure if any of you all wear Spanx, but here’s my story….

After having weight loss surgery in 2003, I lost 120 pounds. Being very proud of that transformation, I started buying clothes and loving my new size. I was always a fashion diva, always. I don’t tell that sad story that I couldn’t find anything to wear, I was just too big. Anyway back to the story at hand. I was walking around work confident and very happy with my new size. One evening two co-workers/friends called. I wondered why we were on a three way call, soon to find out why. Well they told me that I shook like jello when I walked. I was mortified, but played it off, thanked them and quickly got off the phone. I sat there wondering how I must have looked walking around jiggling all over the place. My momma taught me to always make sure you look good from the front and the back. It was late, I didn’t have time to run to the mall to buy a girdle, the old name for shape wear.

The next day I wore a pair of slacks, but this time I wore pantyhose under them to control the jiggle. My friend came to my desk to see if I was mad at her, and I reassured her I wasn’t. That was my fault, I knew better than that, and I’m glad she brought it to my attention. We actually had a big laugh about it Friday evening when we went out for our Happy Hour gathering. That weekend, I hit the mall in search of a girdle. I found one that was made for slacks and long skirts, bought it without knowing the price which was about $50 at Dillards. It was the old heavy, with the tummy panel and by the end of the day, I was knocking everyone down to take that sucker off! I would wash it out if I had to wear it the next day, couldn’t afford to buy more than one. Next payday, I went to Lane Bryant, and they used to have their brand that were like biker shorts. I bought four of them, 3 black and 1 beige. I also ordered out of the Lane Bryant catalog one of those girdle slips. I still own all of those to this day. I had invested some big bucks in shape wear.

Source: Community QVC

I was at Lane Bryant a few weeks later and that’s when I saw the Spanx display. I must have spent 30 minutes reading and checking this product out, and they were pricey! I asked the sales person about them and she promised me it was a great investment. I bought one because they were so expensive. This was on a Saturday. I wore it to church on Sunday to test this wonderful product and see inches go away. It took me 20 minutes to get the 8 inch Spanx on my 50 inch hips! What the hell is exactly what I was thinking, the whole time sweating like I just ran several miles. Whoa, was this worth it? I sat on the bed thinking, this is not comfortable, I have to sing and be uncomfortable for 3 hours? By the time I got to church, it wasn’t that bad and I was looking good, my hips were under control. I loved it, worth every dime. I own one high waist Spanx and several pairs of the footless tights.

Whenever I wear Spanx, I don’t drink because I don’t want to go to the bathroom. Once I take this baby off, it’s done for the day. You know I love drinking my coffee in the mornings but had to stop on Sundays until after church because I don’t want to spend 20 minutes in the bathroom. I have to wear them, I am hippy and need them to smooth my look in my clothes. I wear lighter ones in the summer because I will pass out if had that baby on during the summer months. I am not getting paid to write this post, I just wanted to share my love/hate relationship with Spanx and see if any of you wear them or something similar to them.

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Filed Under: Currently, Fashion and Style, Lifestyle Tagged With: clothing, comfort, spanx, style

Is The Fashion & Beauty Industry Our Friend?

April 13, 2012 by Whitney 3 Comments

Do you feel that the fashion and beauty industry targets middle aged women? When you watch TV, read magazines or the local newspaper do you see commercials and advertisements including women our age? Just depends, huh? I subscribe to More magazine, they do a good job with advertisers that cater to women of a certain age. They have their share of look young/good/pretty advertisements as well, like Botox, it’s a three page advertisement in there! I won’t complain, because I absolutely love this magazine. They figured out what we want, need and like. The articles and content are an enjoyable read as well. We have a platform and voice, because middle aged women spend a lot of money on clothing and makeup, but we aren’t featured in mainstream media.

M.A.C. Cosmetics chose 90 year old Iris Apfel to promote their January collection, Cover Girl’s model is Ellen Degeneres. Meryl Streep is the oldest woman to be on the cover of Vogue. Reports are saying that baby boomers have the money, and the companies are starting to see that we are a great target audience now. That is definitely an improvement, but we have to continue to make sure they recognize us and represent us in their advertisements.

The fashion industry in my opinion could do better, mainstream that is. I consider myself a fashion forward woman, trying to keep up with trends, without being too trendy. You can always find little boutiques and shops online. Let’s not add if you happen to be full figured, that’s another issue all together. I found a website in my quest for fashions for women over 40, 40 + Style, she has a style that I can appreciate and features some very nice clothing on her website. Check it out, I love sharing my findings, classic and very stylish. Of course I love Nordstrom Rack, Marshalls, Macy’s, Chico’s, those are my personal choices.

I really like this vest, it’s fun, casual and age appropriate. It’s sad to see when women wear clothing when you can clearly see it’s not age appropriate. Don’t get me wrong, wear what you want, I just wish we own up to our maturity and not try to fit it, but get noticed by our beauty, then notice our fabulous outfit. What do you all think? Are we represented in advertising for fashion and makeup? Have a great weekend everyone, and remember to stand out in a crowd. We are beautiful.

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Filed Under: Fashion and Style Tagged With: fashions, makeup, style

Lovely Day

March 27, 2012 by Whitney 8 Comments

My best friend from high school was in town yesterday. We went to Oprah’s Lifeclass (more on that in a later post). She lives in Tulsa, OK and I live in St Louis. We are from Kansas City, MO. We haven’t spent time together in probably 23 years when I went to Tulsa to visit her many years ago. She would come see me when I lived in Kansas City, but we haven’t had a day to have fun in a long time. I miss her, and remember why we are such good friends. She is my sister, I had the stronger personality, louder and bolder. She is outspoken, she did it in a gentler, less vocal way than me. I think that’s what I loved about her. We met in the 10th grade, and immediately became friends. I remember when her mom came to my house to meet my parents, so we could really hang out and go places together and really be good friends. It was six of us who used to hang out together, but she and I were the closest. We have been through so much together, I was her maid of honor at her wedding, she was mine, been through death of our parents and the challenges we’ve both had in our adult lives. We have both shared secrets that we are taking to the grave, and we celebrate life and the love of God together.

We went to the mall, shopped, laughed and talked, took pictures together like teen aged girls holding the cell phone up and cheesing for the camera and even asked strangers to take pictures of us. We went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch and didn’t even eat cheesecake! I regret that now of course, because it’s back to the grind. The cheesecake is rich and I was too full to eat anything else. I know, should have gotten that to go. We talked about our mid-life journey, keeping our youthful looks, but not looking like we are 20 or 70. Shopping at our age can be a challenge, because a lot of the clothing is made for younger women. I absolutely LOVE Nordstrom Rack, we had a ball there. I discovered she loves 4-5 inch heeled shoes, while I was looking wedges and cute flats. I was disappointed at Macy’s, but can always find a bargain. The Plus Size department in Macy’s had clothing made for women more conservative than I am. My bestie agreed too. We are both beautiful plus sized, fashion forward women and neither one of us ever have a problem finding beautiful clothes.

I just spoke with my friend this morning before they hit the road back to Tulsa. We made a promise to see more of each other and that means me going to Tulsa to see her. It’s not something we can do every month because of our busy lives, but we will plan trips to visit one another. Thank you Veronica for the wonderful day and for remembering that we must take time for each other, and nurture our relationships as well. I love you dearly.

Whitney or as you affectionally know me….Mick

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Filed Under: Family, Fashion and Style, Inspirational, Relationships Tagged With: best friend, family, fun, inspiration, middle age, shopping, style

My Hair Story

January 19, 2012 by Whitney Leave a Comment

I decided a few months ago that I wanted to grow out my chemically relaxed tresses. I didn’t want to do the “big chop”, I’m trying to wait on that, at least until my birthday in July. I’ve worn my hair natural several times before and loved it, but gave into the pressure of people and their opinions of my hair. When I think about it, how sad to give into the pressures of what someone else thinks of you and what you are about. So not me anymore.

It’s a long process, but I am so excited about the outcome of my natural hair. I have to admit, I’ve been on the internet fiercely researching natural hair, how to take care of it. I have joined a few social networks that are supportive of natural hair. It’s so much out there, not like it was the last time I wore my hair natural over 10 years ago. The last time I wore my hair natural was 2002, the year I turned 40. Well, I will be entering a new decade in July and this time when my hair grows out and I do the “big chop”, I plan to keep it that way.

Things are a lot different now, I’m going through menopause and it has affected everything physically including my hair. My hair has started to shed, the relaxer is just too strong. My hair is super thin. I am considering using protective styles but not sure where to start with that. I’m not really a braid person and I don’t really do wigs, so I’m not sure what to do. I need something because I’m getting ready to start Zumba and Electric Slide classes again and you know what exercising does to our hair. The pictures below are examples of what I’m considering as my protective styles. I’m considering the shape of my face and age. I try to stay age appropriate with my style. I’m excited about this transition, let me know if any of you are going natural or considering the transition. I’ll post a picture after I get my protective style done. Be encouraged…

Whitney