I’ll be the first to admit it, I have a control problem. It may be mixed with a little OCD, but it’s mostly control. I’m working on it more and more because having to be in control of everything puts so much unnecessary pressure on us as women. We have enough to do, husband, children, work/career and about 1,000 other things. What made all of this come to mind, I was watching one of those wedding dress shows, you know where mom is watching as the daughter tries on about 3-4 different dresses and mom, family or friend doesn’t like any of them. One particular show I was watching and the mother was so determined to have her daughter wear what she wanted instead of allowing the bride to be pick her own wedding dress. The woman was just about in tears because she didn’t like the dress mom was insisting on. Let’s not add when grandma and mom is sitting there with stern faces.
I get it, I know it’s natural to control our lives. If you are raising children, we have control over their lives until they are adults and then they will let you know you no longer have that job. I have to stop myself almost everyday when it comes to my family, especially the girls. Every morning, I have to see what they are wearing to school and yes I have the final say. Most of the time,
95% 85 % ok 75% I don’t say anything, I try to let them wear whatever they want. I’m trying to teach them how to dress like young women and ironing is necessary. I don’t try to hurt their feelings, I remember how that felt, but what I’m doing is trying to get them to develop good habits on style, looking nice, neat and how people see them. I don’t even try to control to my husband, he’s not having it anyway. My mother was in control of everything, and we rarely questioned her. If we didn’t like something, we went to our own house where we were in charge.
One thing, I have to know where the money is going, I honestly don’t know if I can give that up. My husband and I have an agreement that if it cost over $200 we are suppose to bring it to each other before making the purchase. It works, because most of the time, it’s something major. It all came about when he brought home a DeWalt drill set that he purchased at Home Depot. He walked in the house and immediately started asking me if I was mad at him. My words were, what did you buy? I didn’t object, because that same day I bought my Keurig, but it was under $200. This was two years ago and it works for us and helps me with my control thing. I cringe when he goes to Home Depot, Lowes or Sam’s Club it takes everything I have not to call him to see what he’s buying. I try to go with him because he won’t purchase much when we are together.
Some women are great organizers because of our ability to control or however you want to describe it. I’m relinquishing control of things I can’t change or do anything about. I have enough going on right now and after I try to control the situation or worry about it, I have no control on the outcome, so why do that to myself. Those of us that have to control need to release unnecessary stress, it will make you sick. What about you all, do you have control issues and how do you handle it?