natural hair - cafe mocha reflections

An Evening With Curly Nikki

April 8, 2013 by Whitney 12 Comments

Nikki Walton aka Curly Nikki was a pleasure to meet on Saturday. The place was packed with natrualistas, relaxed and weaved hair sistas and everything in between. It was fun looking at the beautiful women, the complete look from head to toe. I took plenty of pictures, but because it was in a club like setting, the lighting was dim and I didn’t get the best, but I’m sharing what I have.

The event was presented by Shea Moisture with special guest Q-Redew, and sponsored by Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey and Chambord Flavored Vodka. They had alcoholic drinks to honor Nikki, Curly Nikki Cosmo, Curlfriend, Kinky Bee and Shea Moisture Honey Bee. We were given a complimentary drink ticket and I had the Curlfriend and it was quite tasty. I must admit it was delicious. They had young women walking around offering finger food and samples of the Curly Nikki signature drinks. They were beautiful, gracious and kind servers. The hostesses with the Shea Moisture t-shirts on were helpful, full of product information and extremely friendly. I truly appreciate great customer service, something that is hard to come by these days.

Nikki got up and said a few words of gratitude and expressed how it felt to be back in her hometown celebrating the success of her new book, “Better Than Good Hair”.

I participated in videotaping my hair story, being interviewed and sharing my experience was fun and I wasn’t nervous at all. Do I have a new career in the making? Who knows. They had consultations for anyone that wanted to participate, we even did the Wooble! That was a lot of fun and yep I participated. I had to show those young women I could Wobble, I was tired when we finished though!

Nikki worked the room, very gracious with her fans and followers, taking pictures and signing her book. There wasn’t a bad attitude in the room and I made a friend that evening. She came to the event alone like I did, we stood in line together. Once we got in we went our separate ways but saw each other and hung out for the rest of the evening. I love real time networking, it was fun and we all need it from time to time.

I was so glad I attended the book signing event, I almost didn’t go. I was running late, didn’t take my twists out and when I stepped out the house to tripped over my own feet and fell flat on the concrete! My daughter had just closed the door and I called her like the old people do in the commercial when they’ve fallen and can’t get up. I was so disgusted with my clumsiness, but I got up, dusted myself off and got in the truck and kept going. My daughter tried to help me, she weighs 100 pounds and she was there more for moral support while I struggled to get up, poor thing.

The book signing event was a very professional, organized and just simply enjoyable. Curly Nikki was gracious and I had a wonderful time. Congratulations again to Nikki Walton and your continued success.

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Filed Under: Entrepreneur, Fashion and Style, Lifestyle, My Hair Story Tagged With: book tour, curlynikki, meetup, natural hair, networking

Naturalista’s Big Chop Anniversary

March 14, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

One year ago yesterday on March 13, 2012 I cut off all hair out of frustration when I took my braids down. I was trying to transition my hair, grow out the relaxer while having both textures. It was matted, dry and breaking off every time I touched it. I cut it off, took the scissors like Angela Bassett did in “Waiting To Exhale” and cut my hair off.

One year later, my hair has grown quite a bit and I love what I have discovered about my hair. I have three different textures, loose curls on sides and back, thick at the top with curls, and the middle is one big sponge, with not as much curl definition. I’ve learned to embrace it, take care of it and not stress about it growing. One thing that I’ve noticed about women who decide to wear their hair without chemicals. They are very impatient, they want their hair to be long as some of the videos on YouTube or different natural hair blogs that are out there. It takes patience and you have to be willing to put in the work, maintenance is the key. It will not grow all the way down your back in six months like the girl in this or that picture. We are all different, and you have to approach your hair that way.

When it comes to what products I use, it’s based on what look I want to achieve. If I just want a wash n go, I use Kinky Curly, love that stuff. I co-wash using As I Am Coconut CoWash Conditioner, an oil product and two strand twist with their Twist Defining Cream. I also use Shea Moisture products, that’s my all time favorite staple product. This can be expensive because there are so many companies and different hair products available to naturalistas.

The one thing that really bothers me when I read the different forums and blogs for naturalistas, they forget that wearing our hair natural is a choice and it’s not for everyone. Just like a woman may color her hair, it’s not for everyone. I have chosen to not use any chemicals, including color. I would color my hair every six to eight weeks, faithfully using semi color of course. I didn’t want to see any gray hair, at all. For me, this transition has been about acceptance for who I am, my emotional, physical and spiritual well being. I’ve discovered a lot this year, not all of it I like, but I accept until I make the necessary changes.

I’ve cut my hair off so many times I can’t count. I’ve never been one attached to it because my hair grows very fast. What’s next, henna coloring, new styles and of course probably new products. Who knows, but I’m glad I made this change and stuck with it this time.

Wow, what a transformation! The first picture is when I was trying to transition, doing flexirod sets, then I tried the french braids that were too tight and drove me crazy. The third picture is right after my big chop at the barber shop, the next was showing my different textures. The fifth is my 50th birthday, the last two show afro love. The last picture I took last month. Let’s see what the next year has for my hair. Embrace whatever you do with and have fun with it, I am.

I was not paid for the product endorsement, they were purchased with my own money. One day hopefully, I’ll be able to represent a brand or product!

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Filed Under: Currently, Inspirational, My Hair Story Tagged With: big chop anniversary, braids, natural hair, products, transition

Natural Hair Update

December 13, 2012 by Whitney 4 Comments

One year ago I decided that I no longer wanted to put chemicals on my hair, or go natural the term that is used. I’ve done this in the last 20 years about 5 or 6 times, each time growing my hair back after pressure that my short look wasn’t appealing, or not sophisticated enough. Wow, the pressures that we allow others to impose on our choices in life. This has been one of the best decisions made for me. I honestly didn’t realize or know the true texture of my hair. I simply love it, discovering different styles to wear, seeing the growth and the gray hair come in.

I have been one year chemical free, no relaxer or hair color, both of which I got on a regular basis. My relaxer and semi-permanent color was every 6-8 weeks, depending on growth. I took very good care of my hair when I wore chemicals, no heat as in flat or curling irons. I would get roller sets to my hair, and that’s how I was able to have shoulder length hair. I didn’t put weaves or extensions on my hair, trust me I tried it once in the 80′s, but it wasn’t for me. I didn’t like the texture of the hair and my stylist at the time glued it in, and I hated that. I wish I had pictures of that, I need to find them.

I used to get compliments about my hair all the time, some people even asked if I was wearing a wig. That was a compliment to me. I remember one time after church, we were in the choir room putting up our robes and getting ready to leave, one of the choir members came to hug me (you know Christians hug all the time), and actually ran her hands through my hair, looking for tracks! My mouth dropped, she smiled and I’m glad her curiosity was satisfied. I admit, I miss this look at times, but I truly love wearing my hair natural.

I’m not a big YouTube person, I’ll go when I’m trying to do a new style, but I do follow Curly Nikki, Hairscapades, and Afrobella as well as Rene Syler of Good Enough Mother. There are sooo many to follow, but those are the main ones I like. I also like the natural hair section of Essence Magazine online, check out their gift guide by some of the most popular natural hair bloggers, it was very good and listed some products I would like to try. I’m also gonna subscribe to CurlBox, a monthly subscription of hair products for natural hair enthusiast, you get samples of different hair products every month for $20. One of the things about this natural hair journey, you become a product junkie, I have a small collection, but since my girls are also natural we use them, especially my oldest. Here’s my latest pictures of my hair…

Here’s a side note….I’m not one of those that will harass you about your hair, I believe to each his own. What works for me doesn’t have to be what you want, need or desire. That is the one thing that I don’t like about the discussions and natural hair communities, they can be pretty negative, so I read and get what I need out of them and keep it moving. That drives me crazy about social media in general…another post, another day. Have a good one!

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Filed Under: Currently, My Hair Story Tagged With: chemicals, natural hair, update

Within My Reach

November 20, 2012 by Whitney 8 Comments

I never got caught up in getting older, as a matter of fact ~ I looked forward to it. Something about turning 50 this year was different. It certified me as a woman whose wisdom and life experiences are more than I imagined. I’ve always been one to encourage, be that shoulder you could cry on, tell me something in confidence, but when I reflect on things, something I do all the time, everything I ever wanted and desired for my life has always been within my reach. I didn’t achieve them all, not by a long shot, but for the most part I did reach for them. There are still several things that I want to do that is within my reach.

Taking my blog to the next level is within my reach. I am the one holding me back, but I’m gonna start to research putting ads on my blog and doing some guest blogging. I plan to start looking for a new job next year, that’s within my reach and a true hustle. Looking for a full-time job is no joke.

I’ve done so much in my life, lived in different cities, been married a few times, experienced joy, heartache, success and failures. Always within my reach has been my desires and plans, right there where I can grab them. Just there, still reaching for my goals, expanding my horizon. I always ask God to challenge me, when I’m settling or having a hard time in a situation. I keep reaching, even at this time in my life when I’ve been struggling lately. I don’t give up hope or trying to reach those goals.

My husband has been a wonderful friend, love and partner. He has challenged me to reach beyond my normal aspirations. Sometimes I feel he reaches out of my comfort zone, but it’s always with our plans in mind. Comfort zones and security is something I always keep within my reach, I’ll admit that. I have always wanted to have a secure life, haven’t been much of a risk taker when it comes to finances. I’ve been blessed with good jobs, so when I agreed to relocate to St Louis in 2010 I was out of my comfort zone, but I needed a change.

Loving my hair in it’s natural texture is within my reach. I am totally enjoying the transformation of watching my hair grow and embrace it’s texture. It has really grown this year, very proud of it. I know, it’s not for everyone but it’s perfect for me.

Being happy is also with our reach, and I chose to be happy. That’s very important. Happiness, love, truth, security, family, career are well within my reach….and I’m good with that.

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Filed Under: Health & Wellness, Lifestyle Tagged With: family, happiness, life, marriage, natural hair

Natural Hair Update

July 27, 2012 by Whitney 16 Comments

It has been one emotional week, and I’m so glad I made it to Friday. I wanted to end the week on a light note, something that doesn’t require me to think or stress me out. It’s my hair, I just wanted to share updated pictures about my hair journey. I cut off all my hair on March 9th, I took the scissors and did an Angela Bassett move like she did in “Waiting To Exhale”. Two days later, I was at the barber shop so early, let’s say I beat him there and waited until he showed up. He was so nice, and fixed the mess I brought to him. Four months later, I am happy with my progress. I’ve learned so much by watching videos, different support groups and I also belong to NaturalSunshine.com, a community for women who are wearing their hair natural. It’s a great support system, we bounce ideas off each other, tips, and support each other. It’s not easy for black women to cut their hair off and grow it in it’s natural state. We have been taught from the time we are able to understand about how beauty is represented, and for a lot of us we identify with our hair. I wore relaxers for years, but several times starting from 1993, I have cut off all my hair and wore it natural and short. I would grow it back, and do the process all over again, several times in the last 19 years. I loved my hair, very rarely had bad hair days. When I did, I would pull it back in a ponytail and keep it moving. Then after I had my hysterectomy, my hair started to thinning and shedding. I wasn’t taking any hormones or any other medication. That’s when I finally decided I was going natural and this time it was for good.

In December of last year, I decided I wasn’t going to relax my hair any longer. As a matter of fact, I am going chemical free for this year. Boy, the gray is taking over, so after my one year no chemicals challenge, I may consider some form of coloring, not sure what I’ll do. I’m researching that option now. Needless to say, the reaction I got from my husband and children wasn’t exactly what I wanted. Glad I didn’t let that stop me from this journey with my hair. It’s so liberating to me, I’ve learned so much, wished I had known this 19 years ago when I started cutting my hair off. There are so many products now made for our hair, whether you are wearing chemicals or not. The hair care industry has really stepped up their game and produced products without sulfates, parabens or other harmful chemicals and additives.

I know this move isn’t for everyone, and I can respect your opinion. I just wanted to share my journey with you. My husband still looks at pictures before my “big chop” like I was a different woman! He has a running joke that he has the longest hair in the house! He’ll be ok….pray for him everyone. Two more days for my challenge. Whew! Have a great weekend.

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Filed Under: Fashion and Style, Lifestyle Tagged With: blog challenge, natural hair

Hair Mayhem

March 14, 2012 by Whitney 2 Comments

I took my braids down the other day, it was time. I got my last relaxer on October 20, 2011. I’ve been going strong, being patient and allowing my relaxer to grow out. Transitioning is a long process and some women give in and others stick to it. Well, back to the story….after taking down the braids, I shampoo, condition and started to comb out my hair. It was very tangled and I knew I would lose some hair during the comb out process, it had been braided for a month. Here’s where it gets “hairy”, sorry couldn’t help it. While combing, I pulled out 95% of the middle section! I panicked and out of frustration cut it all off, I’m talking went Angela Bassett from “Waiting to Exhale” where she grabbed the scissors and started cutting, until all the relaxed hair was gone.

When the fog cleared and my panic attack was over, I had cut all my hair off. I gotta tell ya, I didn’t like what I was looking at. I was an emotional, exhausted mess. I tried to tell the Mr. and trust me he wasn’t supportive. That’s ok. I picked up my pride and went to my room and put a scarf on it to keep the funny looks and disappointing comments from my family. I had to wait until Tuesday to go see the barber who was very supportive and hooked me up with a nice style to fit my face and shape of my head. Thank you Jeff, of Mister Jeff’s in University City (St Louis) for taking care of me! Love the way it looks and when I add the moisturizer and oils, my little coils pop right up! It’s amazing!

I got through this knee jerk reaction, but gotta be careful about that because it can cost me. Could be emotional, financial or physical…who knows. Whew, gotta hold on, that was a menopause moment! Keep ya head up ladies!

Whitney