A Brighter Day

September 28, 2012 by 18 Comments

 Today is a new day.  I am feeling so much better, glad I finally went to the doctor.  I’m getting back to the old me, happy, spirit filled, loving woman full of life.  I miss that, and relationships of the past.   My priority was for me to feel better, the rest will follow.  The night sweats are better, I can tolerate them and  I’m able to sleep better.  My thoughts are clear, and I wonder why I thought I could go through menopause without any help.  

I wanted to be strong, the woman who could do it without any help, tough it out.  That was too much pressure, I had to do what was right for me.  Why do women put so much pressure on themselves, to be perfect, superwoman and handle everything?   Then when we fall, we hit hard.  Well I’m glad I took that pressure off myself and my family.  

I have one more test that I need to do, and hopefully I’ll get a clean bill of health….other than the weight I need to lose, but hey I can handle that.  I got a flu and tetanus shot, mammogram and pap smear done.  That other test….a colonoscopy, ugh.   According to the timeline, a woman should get one at age 50.  I won’t bore you with the details, but I’m gonna have the test done.

I love fall, it’s one of my favorite times of the year.  Time to get apple cider, snuggies, booties and anything to help keep me warm.  I also love going to the pumpkin farms, where they have the hayrides, pumpkins and games for the girls to play.  Ok, so they are a little old for that, but we still love going.  I’m ready to enjoy the season as this year turns the corner for the last quarter of 2012.  This is the first tree I noticed that started turning colors, can’t wait for the others.

One thing I must remember is how precious life is and  not take anything for granted.  I’m so blessed to have this life and I should try to live it to the fullest.  The adventures, trials, triumphs, whatever this journey brings, I must tackle it head on.  Thank you Lord for keeping me!  I’ll be back to my schedule next week.  Have a great weekend.

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Living My Golden Life

March 12, 2012 by 1 Comment

 I often look back at my life and wonder how did this happen?  None of us have the same story, where we are from, how we were raised, where we went to school, who our friends are, who we married, if we married, what we do for a living.

I believe that we all have a wonderful story, one full of life, love, successes, failures and everything in between that.  I’m not ashamed of my life, not at all.  I’ve had some regrets.  I’ve married and divorced twice.  I have two beautiful children from my second marriage.  I have learned great life lessons from those relationships, and had to allow myself to love again so I could be a wonderful mother to my girls.  I do not beat myself up about the decisions I’ve made with my life.  I’ve learned the hard way to pray about every situation and let it go.   I’m a work in progress, but I believe in the power of prayer.

Since I’ve semi-retired, changed jobs or whatever we call it, I’ve had time to reflect on living my life to the fullest.  I worked for AT&T for over 11 years, it paid a good salary, allowed my kids and I to live in our home, and have a great life.  I didn’t think I would ever leave other than being forced out.  I was my own enemy when I worked there, I’m not gonna completely blame the company, because in the end, they have the final say.  I’ll admit that I stayed because of what is expected and because of my responsibility to my family.  If it wasn’t for my try at love again,  I would still be working at AT&T.

 I’ve had the opportunity to take a break, reflect on my life and explore my options.  I like being self-employed, making my own hours and being responsible for my future.  I no longer apologize for who I am, what I look like, what I do or how I raise my children.  I’m living my life, my way.   Living my life includes loving my music, wearing my hair natural, being casual, relaxed and writing and developing my blog.  To be honest with you, it’s a form of therapy for me.  I share with you because I know that at some point you have the same thoughts and issues that I have.  We may not all have the same issues,  but we have them.  

Do you live your life the way you want to?  It’s so free, try it…..

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

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12 Things We Must Do For Ourselves

March 7, 2012 by 3 Comments

Women have a strength about themselves that can boggle the mind. Take the lyrics from the song by Chaka Khan, “I’m every woman, it’s all in me”.  We think we can handle it all, and we get the job done.   But at what price, our health and mental well being?  Here’s the thing…sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. That’s always on my mind, ways to encourage you as well as myself about taking care of our mind, body and soul.  I’m always reading articles, watching interviews on TV about women and how they are unhappy, stressed, worn out and feeling worthless because they have not been in the habit of taking care of themselves, including our health. We’ve got to change this. 

I work from home and I still need to take time for myself.  I have a schedule that I follow for work, do work around the house, run errands and write for my blog.  Then it’s time for everyone to come home, eat dinner, homework and make sure everyone is ready for the next day.  Notice I didn’t say I cook every night.  I cook several days a week, and I cook enough to last at least two days.  I try to take time for my favorite craft, making jewelry.  At the end of my day, I’m exhausted and ready for bed. I try to stay up until 10:00 to spend time with my children, it’s hard but I do it. They understand most of the time that I’m tired.  I know that I’m setting a good example for them by taking care of myself.  At times I close the door to my bedroom so I can concentrate without being disturbed.  These are just a few of the things I do to take care of myself.  Here are a few others I came up with.  If you have more, please share. 

1. Learn how to say no…say it with me “N-O!”

2. Get at least 6 hours of sleep. Take short naps during the day if your schedule allows.

3. Laugh at yourself and others. Lighten up ladies, I’m guilty of this myself at times.

4. Call or go visit an old friend or someone that you haven’t had any contact with in quite a while. I don’t mean Facebook, Twitter or text message either.

5. Get all of your yearly checkups, mammogram, pap smear, flu shot (if you do that), dentist.

6. Do something by yourself, go see a movie, visit the zoo, museum, shopping (some women don’t like to do anything by themselves).

7. Love people, but keep contact with negative people to a minimum. They are dream killers and bring stress to your life.

8.  Take time for the love of your life.  It’s so easy to get into the hustle of everyday life and forget what made you love that special person in the first place.

9. Exercise ladies…a struggle for me too! Walking is always our best friend if you are able to do it.

10. Eat healthy meals, another struggle with this menopause thing. I do try hard to maintain my weight. It’s always gonna be work for me. Don’t feel alone on this one. Remember we are middle aged women and we can’t do everything we see or read about. Always consult with your doctor on items 9 and 10.

11.  Volunteer at a women’s shelter, it’s a eye opening experience.  I plan to do more of this one.  Women have amazing stories and we can encourage each other.

12. Spend time with God on a daily basis. It helps to keep you focused and will help with dealing with issues 1-11!

Be encouraged and remember to love yourself!

 

Whitney

 

 

 

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Living With Our Past

February 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I don’t want this to be a rant, but this past week I saw Mimi Alford on TV more times that I care to remember.  If you are someone who follow or watches the news, you know who she is.  She is the woman that had a 18 month affair with President John F. Kennedy. I promised that I would use this blog to uplift, but here’s what I want to say.

My sistahs, if you are living with something that is so terrible that it has consumed your life this long, then take care of it.  Go to the person or address the situation that has caused your past to be a demon to you.  I’m trying very hard not to be judgemental with this woman because I don’t know her or what she has had to deal with for almost 50 years.  What I know, it is not healthy to live with something like that for so long.  Writing a book about the affair doesn’t seem like the answer, but it bothers me that the media has this woman on every network interviewing her like President Kennedy having affairs was something new.  She also didn’t think about how this would affect his family, or did she? 

I don’t know about you, but there are a few things from my past that I’m taking to the grave with me, because I have either forgiven myself, the person or situation.  Asking God for forgiveness is a wonderful feeling, maybe they should try that!  I’m trying very hard to teach my girls to really think about things before they act, because your actions can haunt you a lifetime.  Who wants to live with that?  I hope my opinion on this was helpful and makes you all think about letting go of the past.  Be encouraged and share this with someone.

Whitney

 

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Change

February 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

People normally don’t like change. I know I don’t. It can stop you dead in your tracks. After you ask who, when, what and why, you start adapting (most of the time). It seems like the older we get, the harder it is to accept change.  Why can’t things just remain the same?  

To be honest, we need change, without it we are in one big rut all the time.  It can be as small as going a different way to the grocery store, parting your hair on the left side instead of the right side.  Drinking tea instead of coffee….um, no scratch that one, I love my coffee!  Change could also be changing careers, or retiring.

I did something last week that I haven’t done in a long time, got my hair braided.  It’s really a change and it is taking more time to get used to it than I thought.  I did it as a protective style while I grow out my relaxed tresses.  I’m still trying to adjust, so used to getting up, getting ready and doing my hair.  My kids love it, and my man even likes it. 

Sometimes change is a big deal, like moving from one city to another.  Now let me tell ya, that one takes some time to get used to.   I’ve moved several times, and I think I’ve adjusted each time I moved, although it was tough at times.   I’m from Kansas City, but I live in St. Louis now.  I miss my home town, but I really like St. Louis.  I like the area where we live, and I love my church.  I haven’t made many friends, but that’s because I’m a busy mom that works from home.   I get around very well, and can tell you where all the TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Nordstrom Rack and DSW’s are! 

Change can also mean what most of us are going through now.  That’s what my momma used to call it, “going through the change”.  We all know what that change does to us physically and emotionally.  We just pray that we can get through it without losing our minds. 

Change is a part of our lives, we can embrace it or stress out.  I don’t recommend the stress part, life is too short for that.   Keep your head up, stay prayed up and be encouraged!  Check out my girl Ledisi….

Whitney

 

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Moody Monday

January 24, 2012 by 23 Comments

Do you ever get the blues?  You know, can’t really put your finger on it, got the blahs, don’t really have an opinion about anything, but don’t want someone to get on your nerves either?  You know it, it’s called having a “mood”.  I have them a lot, especially at this time of my life.  I don’t try to have them, they just creep up on me.  It’s one more of those characteristics of menopause.  Moodiness will break you down and have you crying for no reason.  

Perfect example I had to make a business call this morning, the lady was helping me and we got disconnected.  Now knowing that this happens, I called back, put my info in and guess what, I got the same lady.  I asked her what happened, she told me it was a glitch in the system.  I asked her why she didn’t call me back ( I don’t why I asked her that), and she said that she immediately got another call and was unable to call me.  She apologized and I accepted her apology.  Here’s the kicker…my emotions got the best of me, I started crying!  I kid you not….I don’t know why I cried, but it probably had something to do with the nature of my call and having to verify my info all over again, the very long list of questions she had to ask.

I quickly got it together, but was just confused how I lost it and got it together within the same minute.  I need to seriously get on some kind of hormone replacement therapy, and soon…ASAP!  Lawd, help me!  They say this will last 10 years!  I’ve got 7-1/2 years to go!  I really need a good mellow song this evening….have a good one!  Ben Tankard is awesome, enjoy & be encouraged!

Whitney

 

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Menopause Monday

January 2, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Hey everyone, since the purpose of this blog is for women over 40, I was thinking that on Mondays we will discuss the issue of menopause.  Some of you probably haven’t started this journey, or some of you are right in the middle of it like I am.  Can those of us that are say, crazy time?  I have never felt so out of control about my body as I do now.  My mother didn’t talk about menopause, she was that kind of woman that didn’t talk about those type of things with anyone, period.  I had a hysterectomy in July 2009 and that was the beginning of what has been the longest 2-1/2 years of my life.  I remember my doctor telling me that she wouldn’t take my ovaries if she didn’t have to.  I had some other issues going on which resulted in having a complete hysterectomy and the immediate start of menopause.  My doctor started out with a low dosage hormone, but I decided after 3 months to do this on my own, with all the reports of the damages of taking hormones can do to you body.  I admit, I kind of half researched this, I wanted to be a Superwoman.  Please….you don’t have to prove anything when you are going through menopause.  You just need to let your family, friends and co-workers know if you cry at the drop of a hat, eat everything in arms reach, take off as many clothing articles that you can without offending anyone, don’t have you committed….it’s just menopause. 

Hot flashes, hot flushes, personal summer moments…however you want to describe them, are real and the number one thing that has prevented me from a decent nights’ sleep since I had my surgery.  You actually feel your body temperature go up to what feels like boiling!  I have ruined a many hairstyle from night sweating (which is one of the reasons I’m going natural).  I have to sit up, grab my fan that is on my nightstand or open a window.  During the summer months, I turn that air down as low as I can get away with.  I know, I should and will consider hormone replacement therapy or HRT.  Trust me I am as we speak because I am definitely no Superwoman.

Let me say this right now, I am not an expert and I have been and will continue researching this subject to make sure anything I say about menopause I can back up with references.  We’ll get into this subject more, including things like how diet affects menopause, taking anti-depressant medication, and just how we can support one another at this time of our life.  Remember, it’s a journey and anything we can do to support one another we should.   Please don’t forget my sistas, God is with us and protects us as we go through any journey…menopause too!

Whitney

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Happy New Year!

January 1, 2012 by 3 Comments

Here’s to 2012!  Instead of making the usual resolutions ~ I have a list of things we could do to improve our lives in a positive way.  I purchased these cards to send to my friends for “Happy New Years”, it’s from Sala Damali of Kuumba Kollectibles of Washington, DC.  Here’s their website,  http://www.kuumbakollectibles.com.  This is awesome, enjoy and live your life!  Be blessed, the best is yet to come!

 

Whitney

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Change Is Coming

January 1, 2012 by 1 Comment

 This year is almost over!   I must admit it was a year that made me look at myself differently.  I actually took a look at myself, not just on the outside, but what really mattered the most to me.  My old way of thinking, I let it go.  I’m doing things I never thought I could or wanted to do, I’ve discovered so many new things this year.  It was some rough times too, losing someone so dear to me this year.  Annie Mae Wesley, I miss you dearly.  We all miss you in the Wesley family.  I want to encourage all of you to keep your head up, stay strong and remember that God is always with us, that’s the best thing about going through the valleys of life.  When you only see one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that he carried you.  Without him, we would be so lost.  Thank God for everything and everyone in your life.  The best thing about a new year is change…hold on everyone!  Be encouraged.

Whitney

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Take Time To Renew Yourself

December 23, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Women are caretakers, it’s comes natural for us.  We have different degrees of nurturing, but it’s just what we do.  How often do you take the time to make sure you have a renewed mind, body & spirit?  Do you get enough sleep?  I take that self assessment every time I start to feel sluggish.   Of course with menopause you feel tired all the time, if you take hormones they help a little.  I make sure I get a good nights’ sleep to renew myself. 

One of the ways I renew myself is taking me time.  I work from home so you would think I’m able to do that all of the time but I don’t.  When I’m not working, I’m doing something around the house, running errands or mom taxi.  One of the things I do that gives me that refreshed feeling is when I go to the hair salon.  I get to relax, let my hair stylist take care of me while getting my time in with the ladies at the salon.  We always have a good time, sharing stories about our lives, and Stacey and I are always sharing our entrepreneur dreams and plans with one another.  I always leave with a smile. 

Music also helps renew my spirit….gospel, old school R&B and jazz.  When I play my music, my mind travels to the time, place or situation of each song, they all have a story about a time in my life.  I have always related to music like that.  I’m working on my YouTube channel, that’s my new thing!  I have Pandora Radio, iHeartRadio and our CD collection.  It’s truly relaxing and it’s a must for me.

Jewelry making is something I started about six years ago and I love it!  I go bead shopping, and will literally spend hours in there!  So I have to order online most of the time because I get in trouble. I like taking the beads and creating something.  I like working with crystals and sterling silver.  They used to call me LaBeada at work.  It’s relaxing but hard on the eyes…can you say bifocals??

I read my bible and pray to unwind every evening, I’m currently reading a series on YouVersion “Living a Divinely Inspired Life” on my iPad.  I like to read before I go to bed so the last thing on my mind is God and how I can get closer to him. 

Share with me how you renew yourself…

 

Whitney

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