male perspective - cafe mocha reflections

I’m usually a pretty easy going person and can get along with practically anyone. But you know who I’m annoyed with now, more than ever?? It’s THEY. Who is THEY and why do they get such a wide berth to steer popular opinion, medical stances, politics, fashion, etc.? There are way more topics that THEY have some sway in but I don’t have the life expectancy to list them all.

I literally cringe whenever I hear quotes attributed to they. You know.. “they say, for my height I should weigh xxx lbs.” (yes that was three digits). Is that right? They? Who is THEY? Where does THEY live? THEY must be smart as hell. Do they acknowledge that everyone’s body type or body mass is different? That there can be 10 people the same height that are simply made differently..

- perfectly proportioned from head to toe

- thick legs and narrow upper body

- thick body and lil’ bird legs

- requires two double burgers before they’d even qualify for anorexia-skinny

- all stomach

- skinny everything and big boobs

- pear shaped

- steroid body

It goes on and on. Are you comfortable with your weight? Are you healthy? If the answer is yes, then turn off the they-o-meter and move on.

Another one is “they say don’t eat pork” or “they say don’t eat ______________ (fill in your own phobia)”. My personal opinion is most things are OK in moderation unless there is a medical reason why you can’t eat something. Yes, 8 slices of bacon every morning, sausage pizza and pulled pork sandwiches for lunch and pork chops for dinner 3 times a week for years IS overdoing the pork. But you can also overdo SALAD if you are having a free for all at the salad buffet. A six pound salad is still six pounds of food to ingest.

I guess the bottom line here is ‘think for yourself’. Don’t blindly subscribe to the ‘THEY say..’ RSS feeds. Do your own research and background checks and make decisions that are a fit for you. You ever sit behind a car at red light and just drive whenever they start driving without seeing for yourself if the light was green? Same thing. That other driver could be texting, have a death wish or simply can’t drive. Shake the sheep mentality and tell THEY to step off. You can do it but THEY may think you’re tripping.

V Ray is a guest blogger to this site…I like a male opinion, plus he’s a good friend of mine. Thanks V Ray!

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Love Yourself

Women are their own worst critics.

My moms is 82 years old and the lil’ tiny, classic old lady. That church mother, in everybody’s business kinda old lady. We were talking the other day and she’s like.. “I’m trying to lose these 10 pounds”. Really? At 82? Then what?

I told her I thought by her age she’d be content with herself or at least accept how you are and focus on other things in life, like..grand kids, bingo or comfortable shoes. I know that society and the media set women up psychologically to measure themselves by every video vixen, granola bar commercial or swimsuit model out there but do you ever see yourself turning the corner and just saying ‘F’ it, this is me. This is how God made me. I love me.

I’m not advocating an unhealthy lifestyle and I’m definitely one for refining yourself and improving (via college, home ownership, etc.) but can’t women love themselves for who they are? How do you expect a man to accept you for who/what you are if you don’t? How can you truly bond with other women and have a true sisterhood when women hate on each other so much? Partly because of self-loathing would you not want to see someone else enjoying being themselves.

Hell, I say if you’re a big girl, get u some big clothes and a comfy car and go on to the spa and pamper yourself!! If you’re skinny with a high booty, get you some long shirts and some flats and get on out to the Anthony Hamilton concert and enjoy yourself!! All I’m saying is don’t focus on the world and trying to find your place in it. Focus on you and let the world catch up. And if they don’t, it’s their loss..

V Ray

V Ray is a modern-day renaissance man, trying to keep a hand in all things creative from music to writing, art to video production. He’s been performing and touring since he was about 14 years old and has shared the stage with a number of artists, unknown to legendary. He absolutely LOVES kids and if he wasn’t totally smitten with creative ‘everything’ he would love to have a school for pre-K to elementary school-aged kids. He has been married almost 25 years and has one son.

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