What’s Brewing at The Cafe

Hey everyone, it’s been a busy day so far.  My husband was off for a few days so we ran a few errands and hung out together.  The weather here today is beautiful, need to wash the truck for the weekend.  I do not like driving a dirty vehicle.  

Update on the money I found at Marshall’s, the manager called and told me I could come get the money.  I went to the store, we talked for a bit she wanted me to have it and thanked me for being so honest and allowing the person to come back and try to claim the money.  She told me it was a blessing for me and to enjoy it.  I told her I was gonna be a blessing and donate it to the Youth program at my church.  They are having a bowling party next Friday and it’s $4.00 per child and the money will pay for 20 children to go to the party.   This experience just lets me know there are still good people in this world, we shouldn’t give up on people.    I just wouldn’t feel good spending the money, so I’ll pay for 20 kids to enjoy the bowling party next week, but I’m not volunteering!!!

 

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I try not to preach to people, that’s not my style.  I will encourage, support, cry with you, be that ear when you need to rant.  With that said, I have decided to clean up my Facebook friend list, really.  A couple of days ago someone that went to the same high school I did shared a video of a woman giving lessons on how to have oral sex with a man.  She was using a dildo and her comment was, I already know how to do this but I wanted to share it with you all.  I didn’t even know Facebook allowed videos like this.  I’ve seen the big booty pictures, men seem to love those, but never have I seen a video of a woman teaching you how to perform oral sex.  I’m sorry, that was just over the top for me.  Sex is so very personal, it shouldn’t be shared with the public when you post something like this.  I don’t need to know that you are a master at the act, too much information.  That’s why you can set up private groups on Facebook to share things like that.  

I am officially announcing my newest business venture.  I am a Independent Representative for Silpada Designs.  I love jewelry, especially sterling silver jewelry.  It has a great compensation program and a even better hostess program.  So for your sterling jewelry needs, I’m your new girl.  I have a website at Silpada Designs where you can look at the catalog and place orders if you would like.  My Open House is next Saturday at my home.  It’s an uphill battle, but I’m willing to take the challenge because the job market is slow.  My customer service job that I do from home has slowed down a lot.  I won’t panic, just keep pushing and something will happen.  So, I’m a contractor taking customer service calls, blogger and I sell Soul Purpose Lifestyle Company products and Silpada Designs Jewelry.   A girl’s gotta do, what a girl’s gotta do….

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We all have so many things we work hard for, I’m doing my part to make a living and help provide for my family.  My husband is understanding and I want to take some of the pressure off him.  Right now, I’m in true hustle mode.  Have a good weekend everyone.

 

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Top 10 Motivational Songs

What a better way to start the week than a motivational post, but with a twist.  Music is a vital part of my life, it sets my mood, makes me smile, reminisce, saves my soul, helps me to relax and when I’m in a super cleaning mood.  I’ve decided to make a new playlist to motivate me and get my creative juices going.   

1.  This Girl Is On Fire ~ Alicia Keys

2.  Golden ~ Jill Scott

3.  Livin ~ The Clark Sisters

4.  Go Get It ~ Mary Mary

5.   Ain’t No Stopping Us Now ~ McFadden & Whitehead

6.  Shining Star ~ Earth, Wind & Fire

7.  A Woman’s Worth ~ Alicia Keys

8.  Walking ~ Mary Mary

9.  The Best Is Yet To Come ~ Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City Singers

10. Shackles ~ Mary Mary

My playlist will be longer, but trust me these 10 songs will be on it.  Gotta think it to achieve it, and work hard!  What gets you going, this song by Mary Mary gets me going.  Share with me some of your favorite motivational songs. 

 

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If I Had The Time

 

 

If I had the time, I would volunteer at a women’s shelter.  We did this a couple of times when I sang in the choir, it was such an humbling experience.  I didn’t know what to think before I arrived, what would I talk to these women about?  Once we got there, it was easy for me.  We took dinner, sandwiches, chips, drink & cookies and played games with the women and their children.  It was so much fun, playing board games, talking, sharing life stories with the women.  Some of them I could relate to, others not so much, but it didn’t make their story or experience any less worthy.    I didn’t take my daughters, but I would love this to be a life lesson for them.  They have been with me when we have been to the homeless shelter for men, but I think the impact of seeing women with their children there would touch them in a different way.

If I had the time, I would learn how to sew.  I learned in high school and had a Brother sewing machine, but I haven’t made anything since 8th or 9th grade.  I know how to mend, sew buttons, tuck here and there, but I haven’t made anything.  Of course, I want the girls to learn how to sew too, just a great skill to have.

If I had the time, I would take a photography class and a creative writing class.   This would be such a benefit with my blogging and fun.  I would also take a dance exercise class, they are so much fun. 

If I had the time, I would visit my parents grave, alone so I could spend time with them.  I would just sit down at their grave and talk to them.  I miss them, and they missed getting to enjoy their granddaughters.

Life is always filled with should of, could of and would of, let’s find the time to enjoy life and do what we love.  I’ve never done a “bucket list” before, I don’t like thinking about what I must do before it’s my time, but I do want to take the time to do the things I’ve mentioned.  Have a wonderful day!

 

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Who Is They?

I’m usually a pretty easy going person and can get along with practically anyone.  But you know who I’m annoyed with now, more than ever??  It’s THEY.  Who is THEY and why do they get such a wide berth to steer popular opinion, medical stances, politics, fashion, etc.?  There are way more topics that THEY have some sway in but I don’t have the life expectancy to list them all. 
I literally cringe whenever I hear quotes attributed to they.  You know.. “they say, for my height I should weigh xxx lbs.” (yes that was three digits).  Is that right?  They?  Who is THEY?  Where does THEY live?  THEY must be smart as hell.  Do they acknowledge that everyone’s body type or body mass is different?  That there can be 10 people the same height that are simply made differently..
- perfectly proportioned from head to toe
- thick legs and narrow upper body
- thick body and lil’ bird legs
- requires two double burgers before they’d even qualify for anorexia-skinny
- all stomach
- skinny everything and big boobs
- pear shaped
- steroid body
It goes on and on.  Are you comfortable with your weight?  Are you healthy?  If the answer is yes, then turn off the they-o-meter and move on.
Another one is “they say don’t eat pork” or “they say don’t eat ______________ (fill in your own phobia)”.  My personal opinion is most things are OK in moderation unless there is a medical reason why you can’t eat something.  Yes, 8 slices of bacon every morning, sausage pizza and pulled pork sandwiches for lunch and pork chops for dinner 3 times a week for years IS overdoing the pork.  But you can also overdo SALAD if you are having a free for all at the salad buffet.  A six pound salad is still six pounds of food to ingest.
I guess the bottom line here is ‘think for yourself’.  Don’t blindly subscribe to the ‘THEY say..’ RSS feeds.  Do your own research and background checks and make decisions that are a fit for you.  You ever sit behind a car at red light and just drive whenever they start driving without seeing for yourself if the light was green?  Same thing.  That other driver could be texting, have a death wish or simply can’t drive.  Shake the sheep mentality and tell THEY to step off.  You can do it but THEY may think you’re tripping.
V Ray is a guest blogger to this site…I like a male opinion, plus he’s a good friend of mine.  Thanks V Ray!
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Random Thoughts….

We were on our way to church yesterday morning, and I was in the mirror doing the last minute check on my makeup and hair.  It was there, the mustache!  I noticed it when I was putting on my makeup but I ignored it because it was getting late and we needed to go.  That little mirror in the car with the light, that sucker helped me to see it real clear, with my glasses of course.  I can’t believe with everything else associated with menopause, that I have to worry about facial hair now!  It was enough that I had to borrow the Mr’s shaving equipment to get rid of it.   The funny thing is, I’m not taking any hormones!  Can you imagine what I would have if I was taking hormones.  You know the Mr got a chuckle out of it, let me say it the way it happened…he was cracking up.  I looked at him like it wasn’t that funny.  I’m surprised he didn’t call me the Bearded Lady.  He knew better than that one.

My oldest daughter wants a job, but she hates taking direction and instruction at home…

My youngest daughter plays outside and rides her bike everyday….I wish I had her energy.

I want t help women build better relationships with one another.  I will do my part to encourage, motive and lift any woman I encounter.  

I took a step today that I’m very proud of.  I will share it with you in a few weeks.  NO FEAR!  I have allowed fear to hold me back, but not anymore.  I’m more confident now than I’ve ever been.  I want this not just for me, but for my daughters as well.

I love my life…

 


   

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Transition…My Weight Challenge

Hi, update on transition….it’s wonderful.  I’ve been working on several things this year, and I must admit I am starting to see clear on my future and vision.  One other thing I want to add to my vision is finally getting this 50 pounds off that I’ve been working on for the last year.  I’ve let go of the past hurt and expectations for my weight, and what everyone else thinks I should look like.  I want to lose this weight for my health, and I don’t want to be a burden for my children when I get older.  I also want to encourage my girls to eat better and take charge of their health before they get my age.   

On August 6, 2003 I had weight loss surgery.  I was a whopping 397 pounds, unhealthy, unhappy and probably about to die.  At the time, I didn’t think I had any other way to go, I didn’t have the motivation to lose weight on my own.  I had the surgery 4-1/2 months before my mother died.  I wanted to make her proud of me for finally taking responsibility of my weight.  I was very sick right after my surgery for the first three months, but got better and the weight started coming off.  Two years later, I had lost 180 pounds, and was overjoyed.  Both of my parents were deceased by the time I lost the weight and I felt cheated, I wanted them to see my success.  Still trying to be that little girl and please her parents.  The surgery was just a tool I realized years later, I still had to put in the work to lose the weight.

Jump to 2010, because the other 5 years will take many posts to tell…I was about to make another life changing decision and move to St Louis with my fiancé.  I eat when I’m under a lot of stress, and slowly started gaining weight.  I got up to 263 pounds and was very unhappy.  I was unhappy with not working, had a lot of stress because I was trying to sell my house, get adjusted to living in a new city, making sure my girls were adjusting, etc.  I would eat and wouldn’t pay attention to what I was eating, and wasn’t exercising at all.  I decided it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get my life in order.  The first thing I did was find a church home, then I ordered Zumba for the Wii game system and started doing it everyday for 20 minutes.  Within a month, I had lost 15 pounds on my own!  By the time my birthday came last July, I had lost 43 pounds and then my fiancé lost his mother unexpectedly, and along with that came financial challenges, and I started gaining weight again.

One of the things I’m learning that I didn’t apply last year is that when stressed, I need to do something to relieve it, like pray.  I truly take my problems to prayer, hand them over to my father and live according to his word.   I found something that I enjoy, which was starting this blog.  I am happy to say that I’m back to exercising and making better choices when it comes to food, and I’m on my way again.  I exercise five days a week, work part-time and work on my blog.  I have a clear vision, I have it on paper and I’m putting my plan to work.   I appreciate any support given, but I’ll be 50 in three months, and I will bring it in with my new outlook and vision.  Let’s encourage and inspire everyone around us.  Love ya!

 

Whitney

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Currently

 

Currently, I am going through a transformation…

I will work on my vision…

I will heal the pain from my past; feel, deal & heal…

I will tell the truth, even if it hurts…

I will put myself first because I have to take care of myself before I can help anyone else…

I will stop telling my old story,  I will have a new story to tell…

I will remember that God wants us to live in perfect happiness…

We all have work to do, we want to be happy and live in peace.  I’ve been searching for this peace the last year or so, through prayer and taking a good look at my life.  Iyanla Vanzant is a wonderful motivator and speaker, she told us what we need to do in order to live a blessed life without PAIN – pay, attention, inward, now.   I’ve been a fan of hers for over 20 years, I had a audio cassette of a speaking engagement she did years ago.  I had the opportunity to see her at Oprah’s Lifeclass on Monday here in St. Louis.  I was a sometime fan of Oprah, but her Lifeclass series will have me watching OWN on Monday’s and Saturday’s, I love “Welcome To Sweetie Pie’s”.  She explained her vision of starting her network and what she wanted to achieve with it.  I respect and understand that vision.  I’m so glad I attended and realized we have to cleanse our souls like we cleanse our bodies.  Much love to you all.

 

Whitney

 

 

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Lovely Day

 

My best friend from high school was in town yesterday.  We went to Oprah’s Lifeclass (more on that in a later post).  She lives in Tulsa, OK and I live in St Louis.  We are from Kansas City, MO.  We haven’t spent time together in probably 23 years when I went to Tulsa to visit her many years ago.  She would come see me when I lived in Kansas City, but we haven’t had a day to have fun in a long time.  I miss her, and remember why we are such good friends.  She is my sister, I had the stronger personality, louder and bolder.  She is outspoken, she did it in a gentler, less vocal way than me.  I think that’s what I loved about her.  We met in the 10th grade, and immediately became friends.  I remember when her mom came to my house to meet my parents, so we could really hang out and go places together and really be good friends.   It was six of us who used to hang out together, but she and I were the closest.  We have been through so much together, I was her maid of honor at her wedding, she was mine, been through death of our parents and the challenges we’ve both had in our adult lives.  We have both shared secrets that we are taking to the grave, and we celebrate life and the love of God together.

We went to the mall, shopped, laughed and talked, took pictures together like teen aged  girls holding the cell phone up and cheesing for the camera and even asked strangers to take pictures of us.  We went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch and didn’t even eat cheesecake!   I regret that now of course, because it’s back to the grind.  The cheesecake is rich and I was too full to eat anything else.  I know, should have gotten that to go.  We talked about our mid-life journey, keeping our youthful looks, but not looking like we are 20 or 70.  Shopping at our age can be a challenge, because a lot of the clothing is made for younger women.  I absolutely LOVE Nordstrom Rack, we had a ball there.  I discovered she loves 4-5 inch heeled shoes, while I was looking wedges and cute flats.  I was disappointed at Macy’s, but can always find a bargain.  The Plus Size department in Macy’s had clothing made for women more conservative than I am.  My bestie agreed too.  We are both beautiful plus sized, fashion forward women and neither one of us ever have a problem finding beautiful clothes.  

I just spoke with my friend this morning before they hit the road back to Tulsa.  We made a promise to see more of each other and that means me going to Tulsa to see her.  It’s not something we can do every month because of our busy lives, but we will plan trips to visit one another.  Thank you Veronica for the wonderful day and for remembering that we must take time for each other, and nurture our relationships as well.  I love you dearly.

 

Whitney or as you affectionally know me….Mick

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Love Yourself

Women are their own worst critics.

My moms is 82 years old and the lil’ tiny, classic old lady.  That church mother, in everybody’s business kinda old lady.  We were talking the other day and she’s like.. “I’m trying to lose these 10 pounds”.  Really?  At 82? Then what?

I told her I thought by her age she’d be content with herself or at least accept how you are and focus on other things in life, like..grand kids, bingo or comfortable shoes. I know that society and the media set women up psychologically to measure themselves by every video vixen, granola bar commercial or swimsuit model out there but do you ever see yourself turning the corner and just saying ‘F’ it, this is me.  This is how God made me. I love me.

I’m not advocating an unhealthy lifestyle and I’m definitely one for refining yourself and improving (via college, home ownership, etc.) but can’t women love themselves for who they are?  How do you expect a man to accept you for who/what you are if you don’t?  How can you truly bond with other women and have a true sisterhood when women hate on each other so much?  Partly because of self-loathing would you not want to see someone else enjoying being themselves. 

Hell, I say if you’re a big girl, get u some big clothes and a comfy car and go on to the spa and pamper yourself!! If you’re skinny with a high booty, get you some long shirts and some flats and get on out to the Anthony Hamilton concert and enjoy yourself!!  All I’m saying is don’t focus on the world and trying to find your place in it.  Focus on you and let the world catch up.  And if they don’t, it’s their loss..

V Ray

 

 

V Ray is a modern-day renaissance man, trying to keep a hand in all things creative from music to writing, art to video production.  He’s been performing and touring since he was  about 14 years old and has shared the stage with a number of artists, unknown to legendary.  He absolutely LOVES kids and if he wasn’t totally smitten with creative ‘everything’ he would love to have a school for pre-K to elementary school-aged kids. He has been married almost 25 years and has one son.


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12 Things We Must Do For Ourselves

Women have a strength about themselves that can boggle the mind. Take the lyrics from the song by Chaka Khan, “I’m every woman, it’s all in me”.  We think we can handle it all, and we get the job done.   But at what price, our health and mental well being?  Here’s the thing…sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. That’s always on my mind, ways to encourage you as well as myself about taking care of our mind, body and soul.  I’m always reading articles, watching interviews on TV about women and how they are unhappy, stressed, worn out and feeling worthless because they have not been in the habit of taking care of themselves, including our health. We’ve got to change this. 

I work from home and I still need to take time for myself.  I have a schedule that I follow for work, do work around the house, run errands and write for my blog.  Then it’s time for everyone to come home, eat dinner, homework and make sure everyone is ready for the next day.  Notice I didn’t say I cook every night.  I cook several days a week, and I cook enough to last at least two days.  I try to take time for my favorite craft, making jewelry.  At the end of my day, I’m exhausted and ready for bed. I try to stay up until 10:00 to spend time with my children, it’s hard but I do it. They understand most of the time that I’m tired.  I know that I’m setting a good example for them by taking care of myself.  At times I close the door to my bedroom so I can concentrate without being disturbed.  These are just a few of the things I do to take care of myself.  Here are a few others I came up with.  If you have more, please share. 

1. Learn how to say no…say it with me “N-O!”

2. Get at least 6 hours of sleep. Take short naps during the day if your schedule allows.

3. Laugh at yourself and others. Lighten up ladies, I’m guilty of this myself at times.

4. Call or go visit an old friend or someone that you haven’t had any contact with in quite a while. I don’t mean Facebook, Twitter or text message either.

5. Get all of your yearly checkups, mammogram, pap smear, flu shot (if you do that), dentist.

6. Do something by yourself, go see a movie, visit the zoo, museum, shopping (some women don’t like to do anything by themselves).

7. Love people, but keep contact with negative people to a minimum. They are dream killers and bring stress to your life.

8.  Take time for the love of your life.  It’s so easy to get into the hustle of everyday life and forget what made you love that special person in the first place.

9. Exercise ladies…a struggle for me too! Walking is always our best friend if you are able to do it.

10. Eat healthy meals, another struggle with this menopause thing. I do try hard to maintain my weight. It’s always gonna be work for me. Don’t feel alone on this one. Remember we are middle aged women and we can’t do everything we see or read about. Always consult with your doctor on items 9 and 10.

11.  Volunteer at a women’s shelter, it’s a eye opening experience.  I plan to do more of this one.  Women have amazing stories and we can encourage each other.

12. Spend time with God on a daily basis. It helps to keep you focused and will help with dealing with issues 1-11!

Be encouraged and remember to love yourself!

 

Whitney

 

 

 

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