family - cafe mocha reflections

A Challenge of Love and Marriage

May 20, 2013 by Whitney 30 Comments

Hey everyone, happy Monday. Today I’m gonna share with everyone that you don’t always need to spend a lot of money to have fun. This past Friday was my 1st wedding anniversary. My husband took the day off so we could hang out and spend the day together. The finances were very low because the week before it was Mother’s Day and we just didn’t have it. We decided to take advantage of some good old fashion sight seeing. I was excited, because I still haven’t seen everything here in St Louis and I’ve been here almost 3 years.

I mentioned Friday at The Cafe about how we went down to Laclede’s Landing and the Gateway Arch, didn’t cost us a thing other than parking which was $1.00. This location is downtown and we were on the Mississippi River, so we walked and enjoyed the scenery. It was the first time in a long time there were no expectations, stress or disagreements about anything. No distractions such as bills, jobs or other people and their problems. I had also mentioned that we went to lunch afterward, so let me be more specific about where we ate. It may have sounded like we went to a restaurant, when actually we went to White Castle. I don’t eat there much and he LOVES that place. We drove through the city, picked up our food and went home to watch a movie. Sleep hit us both before we actually put the movie in and the girls were home from school then.

We spent a total of $14 for lunch and parking. We laughed, talked and I remembered why I married him. I asked a lady if she would take our picture and that’s the memory we made. I made a promise that when things get rough to remember why we are together, and not to give up. Money comes and goes, situations causes finances to change, but we are in this together.

I started this 30 Day Marriage Challenge just to see if I could do everything on the list. Actually, it’s not anything on the list that isn’t hard, but certain things that I have neglected as a wife. I’m joining Joi at Rx Fitness Lady on her 7 day blog challenge, I may not do all 7 days, but I will participate as much as I can. The button is on my sidebar on the right, please join us and have some fun. Today is about solving a problem. My problem solving topics is how to have fun on a limited budget and my 30 day marriage challenge. Sometimes in life, it’s all about simplicity, we make things so hard. Have fun, enjoy one another and respect your marriage and/or relationships. Have a good day everyone!

Source: Cafe Mocha Reflections via imom.com on Pinterest

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Filed Under: Family, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: 30 day marriage challenge, family, finances, love, marriage

What’s Brewing at The Cafe

May 17, 2013 by Whitney 4 Comments

Scandal Season 2 Cast - H 2012

Happy Friday everyone! Hope you all had a chance to get over Scandal! Whew! We are gonna have withdrawals for the next four months probably. Are you gonna be able to go without it over the summer? The DAD, really?? None of us saw that coming. I did however know that Cyrus was gonna have a heart attack sooner or later. Quinn scared me a bit last night, her adrenaline was flowing last night and I could feel it. That was just crazy. There was so many twist and turns in that one hour of TV. I will say this, I’m glad Shonda worked it out so that Olivia and Fitz had to end their affair. Fitz recited what Liv told him to Mellie and then he went crawling back to her last night with his head down. Wow….great drama, gonna miss it.

I saw the video of the woman in Philadelphia whose baby was in the stroller and it rolled on to the track. I am happy that the baby will be fine, but let me say that we have to do better at being distracted from our cell phones and other devices that we aren’t paying attention to what’s going on. I’m trying my best not to pass judgement, because I know this frightened her and hopefully she has learned a lesson or two about what to do. It’s just not worth it when we focus on those devices when we should be doing something else.

School is almost out, they are gonna be home for one week, then have summer school for three weeks. It’s almost not worth it, except my daughter will have band camp. She wants to audition for the jazz band next year, I sure hope she makes it. They had their concert on Wednesday night and she had a small lead. Of course I sat in the wrong place and the teacher was standing right where she was sitting from my angle. I did this same thing when my oldest was in the band, I couldn’t change seats because it’s so crowded. I managed to get one or two pictures when the teacher moved, but that’s it.

My husband and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary today. It was a quiet day, nothing special, no distractions and time alone. We went down by the Gateway Arch and Laclede’s Landing which is this nice area that has cobblestone streets and restaurants, walked around and had some lunch. We may go to dinner next week, but it’s ok if we don’t. I so appreciated the time alone and was able to relax, talk and enjoy the day. We didn’t discuss bills, issues or anything else that causes stress and no distractions. I even did day one of the 30 day marriage challenge, I asked him if it was something I could help him with today. He was receptive and said everything was ok.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words as I shared my story on how cancer has affected my life. It was sad reminiscing on their illness, but it was necessary to continue to bring awareness to cancer and the American Cancer Society. Have a wonderful weekend!

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Filed Under: The Mocha Cafe Tagged With: American Cancer Society, anniversary, family, scandal

My Family and Cancer ~ A Sponsored Video

May 16, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of the American Cancer Society. All thoughts and opinions are my own but I am honored to share my story as part of the American Cancer Society’s 100th Birthday Celebration.

My mother and sister both died of lung cancer. My sister was went through this terrible disease first and mostly by herself. She came to live with me in 1996 to get away from things. I believed she knew something but didn’t share it at the time. She told me when she asked if she could live with me that she wanted us to be closer. We are 15 years apart, she is older. To think that she had to endure that illness without family still haunts me to this day. She moved out and spent the last months of her life with a man as his wife. We found out she was extremely ill about one week before she died. I will never forget that call at 3:00 in the morning, my momma calling me crying that I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I knew it wasn’t good, my daddy took the phone from her and told me the news, my sister was dying. We put a plan in action and got my parents, and her sons to California to see her and spend time with her. The cancer had metastasized to her brain and they told my family she had days left. She was on a respirator and wasn’t able to speak. We couldn’t get many answers but only that she probably had the disease for about 9 months to a year. She held on until my nephew left and she passed away when the plane took off. She was 49, three months shy of her 50th birthday.

Momma’s battle was about the same except we were able to go through this fight with her. Something just wasn’t right about her, she wasn’t paying bills, forgetting things she would never forget. Then one day she fell down the basement stairs at their home and my dad called me. We rushed her to the emergency room and the emergency room doctor came out and asked my daddy if he knew momma had lung cancer. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, my daddy and I was hit hard with that awful news. We took her home and to the doctor and found out what our fears were, it was lung cancer and the cancer was at stage 4. It was heart breaking, watching your mother go through the diagnosis, various treatments including chemotherapy and radiation, while watching her try to be strong. The treatments made her so weak, I knew momma was scared. She asked me if I thought God was gonna get her through this. I told her of course but I was scared too. The treatments made her weak, her hair fall out and she lost a lot of weight. I remember having the conversation with her oncologist that it was nothing else they could do and we scheduled the meeting with hospice for momma. My brother moved back to Kansas City to help and we learned how to take care of our mother. Momma was diagnosed in July 2003 and died December 26, 2003.

One of the reasons I wanted to do this post was to share what my family learned from our experience. Early detection is a key and that means going in for regular checkups, taking better care of ourselves and early detection. The American Cancer Society will be 100 years old this year and with that milestone more lives are being saved because of their dedication and research. They have played a role in most of the cancer research breakthrough in recent history, which means a decline in cancer deaths in our country.

I want to support the American Cancer Society reach their goals by ensuring that their research gets the funding it needs, making sure people get the help they need, access to health care, preventive screenings and improve our quality of life.

Please look at the video from Mary J Blige and share with me how cancer has affected your life. Have a great day everyone.

This post is sponsored by the American Cancer Society.

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Filed Under: Health & Wellness Tagged With: American Cancer Society, death, family, love

Weekend Memories

May 13, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

Had a great weekend. Saturday the girls and I hung out all day. They wanted to go shopping to buy me something for Mother’s Day. We went to the Air Force Base it was grocery shopping day out there, and they love going. They were having a drawing on some items for Mother’s Day, so I decided to enter. Guess who was the first winner? That’s right me! Here’s what I won…

I love wristlets, I own 4 and to think I won a nice Coach one? Loving it. I was so excited, I wanted to do my happy dance, but my daughter had the nerve to tell me not to embarrass her. I should have broke out, but I was too excited about winning! A free gift, too awesome!

My girls were very giving generous with mom, they spent their allowance to buy me a gift. I told them to just buy one card because greeting cards are so expensive and didn’t want them to spend all their money. This is what they bought me. Too cute, it’s on my desk. My youngest picked this, I just know she did. I appreciate them so much, we had a ball Saturday.

We attended church yesterday, very good service. It was packed of course. I thought about my momma a few times, I did ok until I was sitting in the car by myself. I miss her a lot. We didn’t go out to dinner like I wanted because I had a lot of work to do that needed to be completed by today, so I spent the rest of the day at my desk working. Then I got my gift from my husband.

I’ve never had Shari’s Berries before. They were good, very sweet…very. The girls will probably enjoy a few of them. I could only eat one, they were huge. I had a good weekend, blessed and grateful for the love of my family. How was your Mother’s Day/weekend?

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Filed Under: Currently, Family Tagged With: family, gifts, mother's day

One Humbling Experience

May 6, 2013 by Whitney 6 Comments

If you are like me, you are a proud woman, one that works hard for everything in life. No one has ever given me anything, I’ve always been proud of that. When I had my oldest daughter in 1996, her dad wanted me to stay home and take care of her. I really didn’t want to do that for two reasons, we weren’t married yet and I don’t like not having or making my own money. I know, we’ve discussed this before, it’s a control thing. I was working nights at the time and I couldn’t find decent childcare for my baby. I was living in Los Angeles and the only people I knew were my in-laws and the few friends I made. After trying unsuccessfully to find childcare, I decided to stay at home and enjoy my baby and take care of her. I resigned from my job and that meant giving up benefits.

My ex-husband didn’t have benefits, so he couldn’t add our baby to his insurance. I didn’t like not having insurance for her, so he suggested that I go to the state and put her on medicaid. I was 100% reluctant, and my mother would have jumped on a plane and came to California if she knew he suggested that or that I went to apply for the benefit for my baby. I went to the state facility to apply for medicaid for my daughter. Employees that work for the state or government and deal with the public can be some of the most hardened people because this woman talked to me like I was asking for her money. She wanted to know if I owned a car, had any money in the bank, if my child’s father had a car or any money in the bank. She told me if I was not telling the truth, my baby would be denied. She asked me why I wasn’t working and did I want to apply for welfare. Now remember, I was postpartum so I was sitting there about to cry, but I fought it with everything inside me. I was not gonna let that woman get the best of me.

I left with a bunch of paperwork, and I never looked back, not for one second. I started crying the minute I got to the car. Once I got the baby settled in her carseat and put her stroller in the trunk, I sat in the car and thought, if I have to work 3 jobs, I will never ask for assistance from the state of California again or any state. I had a new determination as I drove home. I never told anyone in my family about this and I was told my ex that I wasn’t taking a handout from the state of California. He thought I was being a little unreasonable but that was his opinion and since I wasn’t his wife yet, I had to think about me and my baby.

The next day I devised a plan to move back to the midwest, where I had family and could find someone to take care of my baby while I worked. My ex-husband said he would go with us. It took me a year to get back to the midwest, but I did it and was working with benefits within a month.

Assistance is available to those who truly need it, I can’t judge what’s right and needed for another person. I know for me at the time, it was a humiliating experience and humbled me to the point where I broke down cried and knew I didn’t want to live that way. I never looked back and kept my focus on making sure my children were provided for and had what they needed to survive. It’s what we do as parents, we want to make sure our children are provided for.

We survived that dark time, I just remembered how it made me feel. There will always be times when you are in a position that humbles you or requires you to reevaluate a situation. How you handle it and your outlook is what makes the difference. I love those girls to pieces.

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Filed Under: Family, Inspirational Tagged With: children, family, humble, love

Pink and Sparkly

April 29, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

Wow, spring is here and it’s more beautiful than ever. This season is such a wonderful time of year as gorgeous flowers peak through with their color and scent. As the days become longer and the nights become warmer, my mind is filling with ideas as a pretty major event that is looming on the horizon – the prom! I hope my daughter attends next years Prom, but this years – the dresses are simply too gorgeous to not share! I’ve found some wonderful choices for this year’s big event, and they are all stylish, beautiful, and flattering too! Take a look at some of my choices if my daughter were to attend this year and let me know what you think!

This one, from David’s Bridal, is a high-low dress in pink chiffon with sparkles and beading on the neckline. It’s strapless, so it really shows off the neck and it will be perfect with a sparkling necklace. I love the scalloping on the hem; it’s very delicate. The high front is great for showing off her pretty legs.

Now this one is a gorgeous gown from Adrienne Papell found at Nordstroms, with embellished mesh. I love the look of this dress. The dresses from this line are always very feminine and elegant too. I love the sweeping feel of this gown. It’s a divine choice and I know it would look beautiful on my daughter for the big night, no doubt about it.

Here’s my third choice, and it’s a knockout. This lace prom dress from ASOS has this amazing fitted waist and a skirt that flares out like a tutu. It’s all in black lace with an amazing neckline. I think it’s just right for dancing the night away. This one will look beautiful with black pumps, and maybe some color or sparkling jewelry around the neck. I love the way this dress feels very girlish but sophisticated at the same time.

Reviewing the various options in dresses, I definitely hope that my daughter attends Prom at least once during her high school career; it’s a night in which she will get to feel like a princes, and that is an experience that every young lady deserves to have at least once. I’m sure you’ll agree that all three of these dresses are beautiful, and it’s going to be a difficult choice deciding on the right one. Tell me in the comment section below about what dress-styles you like!

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Filed Under: Family, Lifestyle Tagged With: daughter, family, pink, prom

What’s Brewing at The Cafe

April 26, 2013 by Whitney 6 Comments

We survived the last 3 weeks and was able to watch Scandal last night. It was so sad but intense as usual. Huck, what can I say, a very complicated man that needs psychological help. Lawd!! I don’t think anyone was expecting the history of Huck but we do understand his character a little better now. Guillermo Diaz plays that role, I couldn’t see anyone else playing Huck. Did you see the previews for next week where it looks like Cyrus may try to get rid of Oliva??? Gonna be a long summer without it, but we’ll survive….I guess. The hashtag said it all last night #scandalobesessed, that says it all. It’s a great drama and I enjoy watching it.

I had the pleasure of meeting Michelle from Divas With A Purpose on Tuesday. She is a beautiful woman with a wonderful spirit and great connection. She was in town for business and I went to her hotel to spend a few minutes with her. We sat in the lobby and talked about our families, marriage and then took this cute picture. We didn’t have time to go to dinner, but it was nice connecting with someone that I met in the blog world. The nice bellman took our picture for us.

I’ve been going to the STL blogger meet ups and connecting with some nice people at the events. I think I’m gonna plan one, very easy just pick a place that’s easy for everyone to get to, we usually do happy hour and talk about blogging, exchange cards and connect. We went to a place right around the corner from me, very nice restaurant Granite City Food & Brewery. Next month we are going to McDonald’s for breakfast, interesting.

I have been working a lot lately, trying to make money for everything, bills, house, kids, etc. I have one wish this year and that’s to go to Blogalicious in Atlanta. I am trying to save so I can pay my fees by the due date which is the end of May. I’m working on it, which means I have to cut back on several other things. I even considered applying to volunteer, but I would have to spend 4 days away from home, something I haven’t done. I may still consider it, I’ll probably really need the vacation by then. Have any of you bloggers been to Blogalicious or any conferences? The BLM girls are having a conference in Las Vegas, I can’t do both and I had planned on Blogalicious before I found out about the BLM conference. I was born in Atlanta and have never been back since my daddy was transferred when he was in the Navy.

No plans for the weekend, work, grocery shopping and church on Sunday. Of course, the girls want to go shopping. I’m working on them. I told them they needed to start tithing their allowance. I wish I could have taken a picture of their faces when I said that, too funny. I guess they understood, it’s all about planning and what’s important. I want them to have good spending habits, I’ll probably still give them money for church, just want them to be conscious of tithing. What are your plans? Have a great weekend ladies, I love this song by Anthony Hamilton…enjoy.

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Filed Under: The Mocha Cafe Tagged With: blogger meet up, budget, conferences, family, random, scandal

What’s Brewing at The Cafe

April 12, 2013 by Whitney 8 Comments

Happy Friday everyone! Not much going on around here this week, work, plans, goals and dreams. I’m still holding on to the goal of working my Silpada business, but have to be realistic about it. I saw a segment on the Today show this week where working moms were interviewed and the question came up about having or going to parties for their friends who have direct sales businesses. One woman stated that she didn’t attend because it was annoying and they have the parties in the middle of the week. I do think that’s why I haven’t been able to schedule a party. I won’t give up, but it does have to go on the back burner until I make some money. I am getting more hours as a independent contractor doing customer service work. I need to help with the finances around here, got some goals and I’m gonna do some changes so we can move forward with buying another home.

Renting is turning out to be a disaster, this place has more problems and the staff is clueless. The area we live in has a great school district and we will stay until my oldest daughter graduates next year. We have a budget and try to follow it, but I admit it’s a challenge. Owning a home has so many benefits, plus it’s ours. I can’t wait until we are in the position to purchase our first home together. We are dedicated to making this happen and making sure our finances are where we need them to be. Michelle over at Divas With A Purpose has been blogging about Financial Literacy Month and has some great posts about saving and getting your financial life on track. She has some great posts on the subject, but I like this particular one, go check it out on Budgeting Basics 101.

My baby is going on a one day trip to Chicago with her school. She is so excited. I love watching her turn into a teenager, she is my baby. I’m sending her with plenty food and $50 for the Navy Pier. I thought $30 was plenty but the hubs said give her $50. Now I’ll tell her that she doesn’t have to spend it all. She will come home with $3 and say see I didn’t spend it all, and be excited about it too. They have to be at the school at 2:30am and will be back at 11:00pm tomorrow night. I will have to set my alarm when I lay down or she won’t make it.

I’m also trying to find a summer program for her. Summer school is only three weeks and it’s almost not worth it. There are two sessions at $25 each and one will be her band class. I guess budget concerns has caused the district to cut summer school this year. My oldest would like to find a part time job, and I’m not against that for the summer. My husband is even on board with her working for the summer. I would love for her to work and make her own money, it will be a great experience for her and a chance to see her maturity level.

The tornado that ran through St Louis this week spared lives, except we did have a worker for the electric company that was electrocuted while trying to restore electricity in the area of town that was heavily damaged. Very sad, saying a prayer for his family. This is my third spring in St Louis and every year during tornado season, we get hit hard here. I saw them drag the biggest branch from my neighborhood yesterday, there are tree branches everywhere. It’s cold here today, the weather here in the Midwest is crazy.

Here’s your Scandal tease…..it’s gonna be so good!!! Two more weeks!

I’m taking it easy this weekend. What’s your plans for the weekend? Make it great whatever your plans are…

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Filed Under: Family, Relationships, The Mocha Cafe Tagged With: children, family, finances, home, random thoughts, scandal, school

Autism Awareness Month

April 1, 2013 by Whitney 22 Comments

Good morning! Hope you all had a wonderful Easter. Don’t forget to share you Easter pictures with me on my link up party from Friday.

This year I would like to step outside my box and bring awareness to Autism. I’m starting off by announcing that I will be doing a fund raiser in my daughter’s honor and donate the proceeds to Autism Speaks. I have joined the organization and set up my goal of $100. I will donate a 15% of my earnings from individual Silpada Designs sales through April 7, 2013.

I have talked about my daughter before, she is a beautiful young woman who is truly coming into her own. I realized in the last month since I’ve been working on her transition from high school to adulthood that she is gonna need support beyond me. I protected her the best that I could, but I understand that she will need to explore this world at times without me. Autism Speaks is a wonderful organization that will help both of us achieve those goals. Of course, these organizations aren’t successful without money, so what better way to raise money for her but through Silpada Designs.

Do us a favor and go to my page, browse the catalog and place your order under Autism Awareness party. She is tickled pink about this and I couldn’t think of a better way to introduce this organization to her and assist me with her transition. It’s still a very long road for her, but I know my baby will be successful.

Let’s make this fundraiser successful for Autism Awareness month and Autism Speaks~Light It Up Blue! You can also go to my page here for Autism Speaks and donate! Thanking you all in advance, have a wonderful day!

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Filed Under: Family, Inspirational Tagged With: autism, Autism Awareness, Autism Speaks, family, fundraiser, silpada designs

Easter Sunday Best Dressed Party

March 29, 2013 by Whitney 6 Comments

It’s Good Friday and I’m sure you all are busy preparing for Easter or Resurrection Sunday as some churches call it now. Easter brings back so many wonderful memories of growing up with my youngest brother and nephews, getting all dressed up for church.

I am doing my first Blog Hop link up party. Please link up your favorite Easter pictures, past or present! Let’s share our pictures with our Sunday best on! Here’s my pictures from when I was a child with my brother and oldest nephew.