How many times have you been in “love”? That’s a loaded question for some of us, others can answer it quickly. Some of us don’t have enough fingers to count, or admit that we’ve “loved” that many times. I started thinking about this after reading a wonderful story by this woman on the natural hair community, Natural Sunshine. She wrote about being in love with the image she saw and what that represented to her. They fell hard, and the bottom fell out of the relationship. You know how the story ends. It was written with a certain poetic feeling, or that’s the way l read it, because all the responses were the same….that’s my story.
Lord knows I can’t be judgmental about anyone’s relationship. I’m the woman that’s wants to be in love, you know my kind. I wanted affirmation, affection, emotion. I thought that was the way we were supposed to be loved…yeah I know, my head was way in the clouds. I also know what’s said in the religious community about being “equally yoked”, praying for that husband and waiting. We’ll pray for the husband, but our desire to have a mate is stronger than our faith in God. In other words, the flesh wins again.
One thing I know is as we get older, our definition of love and commitment gets tweaked a little. Although I still desire the emotion of love, I know as many of you do that there is more to that verb LOVE. It’s all about action, communication, honesty, maturity, respect. My man is my love, friend, business partner, co-parent. At times we can’t stand each other, disagree, debate, talk loud and don’t talk. There are many days we have to agree to disagree, because that’s just the way it is. Just being honest. One thing we have is respect for one another, and know when to let a certain situation go or bring it up after every one has rested.
We are committed to each other, our future and the plans we have dreamed about and working towards. We dream of the girls becoming young women, living their lives. I am committed to this relationship because I want to be. Do I love the Mr? You bet I do, but not just with my heart. I love and appreciate our commitment to one another. Most of all, I am committed to and love myself, which was missing in previous relationships.
Please enjoy my serious “old school” jam, how many of you remember this? Gotta love old school R&B! Be encouraged!