This morning I stopped at the grocery store to get my husband some ice for his cooler. I was just about out of the store and I saw this big box with the freezer pops in them. They are 35 calories, no fat, carbs and about 9 g of sugar. I decided to get them because we are all trying to watch what we eat around here, but it’s a nice cool treat when we go to the pool to hang out. I was back in line checking out and the man that was sacking the groceries said to me, and I quote…”getting treats for the grandkids?” Ummm, no I’m getting them for my daughters! I am so glad that I wasn’t having a middle aged woman moment, or I would have said something snappy or smart! I could tell that he was embarrassed, so I quickly forgave him. I know that most women my age have grown children and a few grandchildren, but let’s not assume all of us are grandparents! It just made me think about women like me who waited to have children. Trust me, I wasn’t ready to have children between the ages of 18-30, and quite frankly mature enough. After I turned 30, the pressure started coming from my family, especially my momma and sister. Momma used this one all the time…”sure would like to see some grandchildren from you before I die” Really momma? They both started young, and I saw how my sister struggled with raising my nephews who are only a few years younger than myself. I know you can’t determine what’s going to happen because even waiting until 33-1/2 to have my first, and 38 when I had my youngest, I still ended up being a single mom.
This morning before summer school
Birthday party Soccer game
Everyone has an opinion on what’s the best age to have children, and this is my answer. I believe I’m a better mother at age 49-1/2 because I waited, that was the best choice for me. I’ll admit that when I found out at 37 that I was pregnant with my youngest, it wasn’t a happy time around my house. My ex-husband didn’t speak to me for two weeks, like I got pregnant on my own! I remember all the jokes, especially about how old I would be when she turns 18. I’ll be 56 when she graduates from high school, still have plenty of living to do. I love being a mother, my girls amaze me. My oldest daughter has Asperger’s Syndrome and she is shining! She is a honor roll student, loves acting and singing. God knew what he was doing when he brought her to my life, the challenges we face and her bright future. My baby is a honor roll student as well, has energy that I can’t understand and I encourage her to enjoy her life. I talk to them about life, what to expect and what is expected of them. Yeah I love this job….wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I am a middle aged woman with two school aged girls at home, and I’m proud of it! As my girl Rene’ Syler of Good Enough Mother would say, you don’t have to be perfect, just good enough! Have a wonderful weekend, thanks for your support!
Power to ya Whitney! Rock on gf!
Thanks Brenda!
Hey Cafe Mocha. I’m visiting from sits! I’m so happy I came across your blog. I’m not 40+, but I’d love to learn about the things that I should expect. I’m more than happy to follow you blog. Loving your design! I see that your natural. I’m in the process of going natural myself. When did you do the big chop? I’m actually documenting my journey,
Hi, so glad to meet you! I big chopped 3-11-12, it wasn’t pretty. I took my braids down and it was a mess, so I cut it off and it was worse! I just cut it like Angela Bassett did in “Waiting to Exhale”! I was trying to transition, but I was impatient. It’s never too early to takes notes about menopause, my momma didn’t warn me. I’ll go check you out your blog! Thanks for stopping by.
Beautiful girls from a beautiful mama! It’s so strange how there is so much talk about a woman’s age in regards to having children. There are SO many opinions about when we ladies should become moms that if we listened to all of it we would all have about a 1-month window to get pregnant. My husband was 40 when we had our son and no one thought a thing of his age.
tori nelson recently posted..“Slice of Peace”? I’ll take seconds.
Thanks Tori and isn’t that the truth! I broke all the rules as you can see! Thanks for the blog love!
Yeah Baby (38 with a 4 year-old)!!
In from SITS.
Student Mom (Jenn) recently posted..Five Minute Friday – Wonder
Fist bumping you right now! Thanks for visiting!
I had my children after age 30, too. I do not regret being an older mom; indeed, I find that there are many parents these days in my age group! I am happy with the way things worked out.
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Always Be My Baby
All the moms I know who had kids in their mid- to lat- thirties say they are better moms. I know it has to be true. I don’t regret having my kids young but I would be a better mom if I started over today (though less excited about the pregnancy!). I try not to assume anything about the age of the person with the kids, but sometimes it just comes out. Forgive me! And I am so impressed with how you held your tongue at the grocery store.
Laura @ Pruning Princesses recently posted..Tween magazine reviews: American Girl Magazine
Thanks, couldn’t take it out on him…we all assume, it’s so funny when I meet someone my age with children still at home, I just wanna hug them! Thanks for visiting, appreciate it.
Stopping by from SITS – WOW we really do have a lot in common! The only thing worse someone can say is “When are you due?” and you aren’t pregnant. It would be freezer pops upside the head on that one! Look forward to reading more!
LOL! I’ve had that a few times!!!! You have me cracking up! Thanks for the blog love!!!
Visiting from SITS. I actually think I visited your blog once before (probably another SITS link) but I don’t know if I left a comment or not. I just turned 40 and I have a 6, 4, and 2 year old. (So, they were born when I was 33, 35, and 38.) Women in my family tend to have babies a lot younger, so we’re kind of the anomaly. (In fact, my parents oldest and youngest grandchildren are nearly 25 YEARS apart!) Looking forward to reading more; I will make sure I’ve “liked” your FB page, too.
Valerie @ Momma in Progress recently posted..7 Quick Takes Friday (43): Kids’ Shows Worth Watching
Funny you say that Valerie, I was the same way…everyone else had children in their 20′s and here I come along when all the grandchildren are grown and having children of their own. I don’t have a Facebook page, but it’s next….I need it! Thank you for the blog love!
Your FB button goes to your personal page; do you have a FB page for your blog, too?
Valerie @ Momma in Progress recently posted..7 Quick Takes Friday (43): Kids’ Shows Worth Watching
It’s your life and you know yourself. I wish people would be more respectful toward others, especially regarding choices of procreation. What a personal thing — I am amazed that others would think they have a right to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Interesting what boundaries are sacred and which ones people cross all the time.
It sounds like you made a good choice for you. Way to be true to yourself and listen to your heart. Your daughters are blessed to have such a thoughtful mother.
misssrobin recently posted..My Own Misbehavior
You know people cross the line all the time. Glad I’m the woman I am today, let’s say that.
When you have kids is when you have them. The ability to have them is so much better than the inability. I was once told by my daughter that I was the oldest mother. Well, if I hadn’t had her she wouldn’t have the friends with the young mothers. Enjoy your daughters, life, and maybe in the future grandbabies. A very nice post and I love your website colors, designs, and fonts. I too make jewelry but not for selling. Enjoy your SITS Day.
Sheila Skillingstead recently posted..Sounds
I don’t sell either Sheila, I tried, not really hard, but I love to make it. My girls are great, they tell me I’m still young! Gotta love that about them!
Mothers come in all ages.I had my daughter when I was almost 24 (unplanned) and I wish I would’ve waited at least a year or two more. You don’t get those young, childless years back so good for you for waiting until you knew you were ready.
Venassa recently posted..Boy Meets World season 1 GIVEAWAY
You are so right about that, once the children are here, life is so different! Just glad I was blessed to be a mom! Thanks again!
Wow! I always think of my pregnancies as the defining factor for the best age to have children- I haven’t ever though of it this way. (My pregnancy at 24 was SO EASY compared to my later pregnancies.) It sounds like you’re flourishing in motherhood right now! I’m certainly about embracing the good-enough policy on the less-than-stellar days.
Angi recently posted..Upcycling for Tweens
Glad I could bring a different perspective to motherhood. My first pregnancy was ok, but my last one, I had to take off early. I love being a mom, my girls are older now. I love watching them turn into young ladies. Thank you for your support.
First of all, you don’t look old enough to have grandkids, and I’m not just saying that. That was a ridiculous comment to make. It also sounds like you’re doing a great job with your daughters. My sister had her first (and only) baby at 38, because it took her that long to find the right guy. She may be older than some other moms in my niece’s playgroup, but she has no problem keeping up with her two-year-old and has so much life experience to bring to the job of raising her.
Happy SITS day and I’m looking forward to reading more!
Suzanne recently posted..Split: Rain and Bed Bugs
Suzanne, how sweet of you! Thanks, I’m pretty used to it. They roasted me at my 30th reunion, everyone had their grandchildren or adult children and me & one other lady had children the same age! I kept up with them when they were younger, now it’s puberty, ugh! Thanks for visiting, appreciate your support.
I can’t really relate because I had my oldest when I was 20. But my youngest came along when I was 32. There is definitely something to be said for waiting until you are older. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been through it all before or just the fact that with age comes the realization that you can’t take anything for granted. But I have been cherishing every moment of my two youngest ones instead of being in such a hurry to get to the next stage like I was with my two oldest.
Happy SITS day.
Monica recently posted..I’m Mixing The Drinks For More Than Mommies
You can’t relate because of age, but it’s still the same with motherhood! I cherish it too, thanks so much for your support.
SITStah, I can SO relate! I had my first when I was 36, and my second when i was 39. I’m 52 with a 13 & 16 year old!. I’ll never forget my youngest’s first day of Pre-K. Her teacher’s MOM was there helping out, and I was older than HER!! LOL! I am going through menopause, too, and just started a drug yesterday after spending hundreds trying to go the natural route. Hot flashes, be gone!!
You are beautiful and that guy needs glasses! Happy SITS day! I’ll be subscribing!
Kelly Stilwell recently posted..Talking Anya Dress Up & Pet Puppies~ App Review
Hey Kelly, we are in the same world! I’m two years younger than you and my girls are 12 & 16. I tried the natural route, then realized I needed help. Hot flashes are gone, and I feel so much better. Thanks for your support, truly appreciate it.
Love this post!! You’re right – there is no perfect formula for when we should all have kids – it just has to be the right time for you!
Rebecca Rider recently posted..Find Your True Goal Weight – Don’t Go By Your BMI
Thanks for the blog love! My girls keep the house and life busy!
I’m not going to be a mom until my late 30s (at the earliest) – the same age bracket my mom was in when she started having kids! Good luck with the job searching – it’s really more about networking and personal contacts than the online application stuff…
The Roving Retorter recently posted..A Reunion . . . in a Gated Community
I will definitely do my share of networking! I think when you are ready, motherhood is a beautiful experience. Thanks for the blog love!
Stopping by from SITS today. I know what you mean about it not being happy when you get pregnant later than you ever thought you would with that last baby! Then I went and delivered her in October… which means she doesn’t get to start school until she’s 6 because of new state regulations. Lots and lots of time with a little one who has single-handedly made me addicted to coffee!
But I know I’ll look back on this later on, when she’s in school, the house is quiet, and I miss the sweet incessant chatter… and be glad I have this.
Laurie, how true…bless your heart, 6 years. Plenty of fun ahead for you two! Thank you so much for your support, glad I’m meeting women that went through the same experiences!
You sound like an amazing mom! Just remember age is all relative to how we actually feel. Don’t you think?
Lisa recently posted..Refocusing my Brain
I agree, I can only be the mom I am right now! Trust me, would have been completely different at 22! Thanks for visiting!
I will turn 51 in less than two months and my youngest is eleven. He has high functioning autism. See? We have a lot in common even now and its my first visit! I came here from SITS! Congrats on being featured.
I haven’t started menopause. I keep expecting it to happen. It hasn’t.
When Samuel was little I would have the occasional, “Is he yours?” question, thinking I was the Grandma. The first time that happened though was when my foster daughter was seventeen and some guy thought my seven year old daughter was HER daughter and I was the Granny. CRAZY!
Julie Jordan Scott recently posted..Art Every Day Month Check In: Assemblage of Sea Treasures, in Process….
Yeah that was crazy! We do have a lot in common, I will admit that I felt alone, but I love blogging, so I just kept doing it. I had a hysterectomy in 2009, so I was pushed into menopause. Thanks for the blog love!
There is no perfect time to have kids. There are certainly some times that are worse than others, but if you wait for the perfect set of circumstances, it will never happen. If your goal is to be a great mom, then you will be a great mom at 18, 28 or 38! Good for you for making your own decisions!
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Verizon edition
It was the right time, trust me…thanks for the blog love!
Good for you for waiting until the time was right for you! Everyone has opinions on when a couple should have a baby, but it should be totally up to them – not about pressure put on them from others.
Jenny @ Creatively Blooming recently posted..Grinch Party
Thanks, it was just right for me, love my babies! Thanks for the blog love!
So great to her your thoughts on Mom age. We are contemplating a third baby and of course, I am older every day. Glad it was a good experience for you!
Yes it changes things, I love being a middle age mommy!
Love it! My great-grandmother use to tell me, “you’re not old until your kids on social security.” She was 92 at the time. Great blog and loved your thoughts and musings here. Thank you!
Tracy Larson recently posted..Tips for Staying on Your Diet
LOL, I’m gonna use that, love it!!! Thanks so much!
Great post! I don’t think there is a “right” age for motherhood either. Thanks for sharing this with SITS!
Heather recently posted..Mama & Me Slipper Set Giveaway!
Thank you, we are working through it….puberty is kind of rough though! Thanks for the blog love!
Hi Whitney-happy (late) SITS day!!! I love this post; my boyfriend is a few years older than me and everyone keeps pressuring us to settle down now “while there is still time”. I completely agree with you that the two of us are enjoying being together and aren’t ready for kids yet. It’s nice to know that whenever we decide we want them, it will work out
I bet you are a true inspiration for your daughters…because you are to me!
Danielle recently posted..Fancy Pants App: Endive Salad with Fruits from Chile
Oh Danielle, what a sweet thing to say! Enjoy your life, and when you are ready you’ll be a better mom. Thank you for the blog love!
I completely understand. I had my children at 35 and 37 (they are 19 months apart) and I will be 53 and 54 when my children graduate high school and I probably get more tired than a mom in their 20s and early 30s but I have more patience and grace and appreciation as an “older mom” than I ever would have if I’d had these blessings at a younger age. I am much more able to roll with exploding poop, soldier through colic, and politely tell people with their unsolcited parenting advice to mind their own business so I am a mom exactly when it was best for me to be a mom.
Kathy Penney @ Sparkles And A Stove recently posted..DIY Ornaments: Candy Swirled Keepsakes for Your Tree & A Giveaway
Sounds like me, now you are right I was and still tired, but that’s what’s going on with me. Good luck Kathy and thanks for the blog love!
I’m 38 now and, who knows, might have another kid. I don’t even want to do the math. Visiting from SITS
Lyza @ Chic Shades of Green recently posted..Walk Out Wal-Mart— Black Friday and Every Day
Don’t, if it happens I’m sure you’ll be a great mom….thanks for visiting, appreciate it!
Bravo Whitney! Good for you… that’s the spirit. Stopped by from SITS. Really liking your blog.
Happy holidays to you and your girls!
Carlo/Carlo At Your Service Productions recently posted..A Pain In The Party Business Owner Back
Thank you so much, appreciate the blog love!
Ha! I totally heard that! I didn’t have my first child until I was about to turn 30. My Momma started talking about grandbabies as soon as my husband proposed to me. A lot seems to be expected of me. Lol..and I am the MIDDLE child!! I moved out first, I got married first, I started college/university first, I had the first grandchild…heck…I’ll be giving them their second before anyone else has one too! But the thing I learned over the years wasn’t that they were putting pressure on me necessarily, it was just that when they compared and contrasted me to my siblings…they knew I was the strong one. So I was pushed a little more. Diamonds are made that way. Under pressure. Keep shining!! Your girls will thank you for it, and they’ll shine all the brighter! Happy (belated…sorry!) SITS Day!! =)
The Foodnatic recently posted..A Very Harry Christmas, Day 7: Sugar Biscuits
You have very good points! That really sounds like my mom & sister, I think they were just ready for another baby in the family. Thanks, my girls are good, loved and have a “seasoned” mom! Thanks for the blog love!