Work & Career - cafe mocha reflections

You Are Phenomenal

March 18, 2013 by Whitney 14 Comments

Do you know how special you are? How often do you celebrate your phenomenal abilities? I am a great woman with a history of women who worked hard, made no excuses, wasn’t perfect but lived life to the fullest. I realized that Saturday evening after my Open House for my new Silpada Designs business. My up line manager Debbie, came to my home with her 12 year old daughter to help me with my open house. She brought all her jewelry and was so excited and positive the whole afternoon. We set up all the jewelry on my dining room table, the little open area that connects the kitchen and dining room and a card table that I had.

While we waited for my invited guest, Debbie and I talked and shared our worlds with one another. Both of us have 12 year old daughters, and they hit it off from the moment they were introduced to each other. We acted like old friends, looking at jewelry, putting it on, talking, and having fun. Two hours later, no guests but you know what? We had a ball, seriously. I felt guilty that she spent her afternoon and no one showed up. I didn’t feel bad, I was very surprised. I thought I would be mad that I invited people and no one showed up. I had a phone call and she sounded like she was coming, but no show. I didn’t spend a lot on food, had some veggies and dip, cheese sticks and artichoke parmesan dip, cookies and drinks.

I was surprisingly optimistic in my thinking, it will happen I told myself. I just need one person to have a party. I’ve set small expectations for the beginning, one party a week, one contact at a time. One other thing I won’t allow to get into my head is spending someone’s money, because we afford what we want. My old managers at AT&T would be proud of me, because I used to hate selling phone service and features to people that didn’t need or want it, but I had to offer it.

That evening, I sat and talked to my husband about how the event went. He was very supportive and told me I may have to reach out to people I don’t know. We were on the same page, because that’s exactly what I thought too. I so appreciated the way Debbie graciously gave up her afternoon for the sake of my new business, spent time to get to know me and my children. That’s how you build beautiful friendships, one person at a time. I realized that we were phenomenal women, and nothing will stop me or you from being successful at whatever we decide to do. Surround yourself with wonderful people, build relationships and shine! Divatude Challenge 2013 in full effect, watch me!

I had to share this with you all, it’s so uplifting and Maya Angelou recites it with so much confidence and love! Enjoy!

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Filed Under: Entrepreneur, Inspirational, Work & Career Tagged With: business, entrepreneur, friendship, open house, phenomenal woman, silpada designs

What’s Brewing at The Cafe

March 8, 2013 by Whitney 6 Comments

Hey everyone, it’s been a busy day so far. My husband was off for a few days so we ran a few errands and hung out together. The weather here today is beautiful, need to wash the truck for the weekend. I do not like driving a dirty vehicle.

Update on the money I found at Marshall’s, the manager called and told me I could come get the money. I went to the store, we talked for a bit she wanted me to have it and thanked me for being so honest and allowing the person to come back and try to claim the money. She told me it was a blessing for me and to enjoy it. I told her I was gonna be a blessing and donate it to the Youth program at my church. They are having a bowling party next Friday and it’s $4.00 per child and the money will pay for 20 children to go to the party. This experience just lets me know there are still good people in this world, we shouldn’t give up on people. I just wouldn’t feel good spending the money, so I’ll pay for 20 kids to enjoy the bowling party next week, but I’m not volunteering!!!

I try not to preach to people, that’s not my style. I will encourage, support, cry with you, be that ear when you need to rant. With that said, I have decided to clean up my Facebook friend list, really. A couple of days ago someone that went to the same high school I did shared a video of a woman giving lessons on how to have oral sex with a man. She was using a dildo and her comment was, I already know how to do this but I wanted to share it with you all. I didn’t even know Facebook allowed videos like this. I’ve seen the big booty pictures, men seem to love those, but never have I seen a video of a woman teaching you how to perform oral sex. I’m sorry, that was just over the top for me. Sex is so very personal, it shouldn’t be shared with the public when you post something like this. I don’t need to know that you are a master at the act, too much information. That’s why you can set up private groups on Facebook to share things like that.

I am officially announcing my newest business venture. I am a Independent Representative for Silpada Designs. I love jewelry, especially sterling silver jewelry. It has a great compensation program and a even better hostess program. So for your sterling jewelry needs, I’m your new girl. I have a website at Silpada Designs where you can look at the catalog and place orders if you would like. My Open House is next Saturday at my home. It’s an uphill battle, but I’m willing to take the challenge because the job market is slow. My customer service job that I do from home has slowed down a lot. I won’t panic, just keep pushing and something will happen. So, I’m a contractor taking customer service calls, blogger and I sell Soul Purpose Lifestyle Company products and Silpada Designs Jewelry. A girl’s gotta do, what a girl’s gotta do….

We all have so many things we work hard for, I’m doing my part to make a living and help provide for my family. My husband is understanding and I want to take some of the pressure off him. Right now, I’m in true hustle mode. Have a good weekend everyone.

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Filed Under: Currently, Inspirational, The Mocha Cafe, Work & Career Tagged With: career, contractor, inspiration, silpada designs, soul purpose, work

Women In Combat The Conclusion

February 3, 2013 by Whitney Leave a Comment

Part 3. Me and Mine
Part 2 discussed whether equality should equate to a single standard. In this piece I want to share my position. Many people have made reference to a false equivalence where black soldiers were not considered equal to white soldiers during the forming of our modern military. That black soldiers could not perform the same as white soldiers was a perception not rooted in science but in racial prejudice. The color of skin does not equate to the anatomical limitation of women serving in some Combat jobs. Scientifically, women are physically less developed than men, and our belief that women cannot be in the Infantry is rooted in sexual bias. Attacking the problem from a scientific position allows us to draw a decision based on rational thinking despite our emotion prejudices.

There are more examples and I’ve asked a lot of questions that I’ve asked you to consider. My position is as follows:
- Can women serve in Combat roles? Yes, because they already do.
- Can women serve in the Infantry? Yes, we can place anyone anywhere but we must understand that to do so will mean we have to accept the pain and horror that will come with the decades long transition; claims of unfairness, increased sexual assaults, psychology of women wounded in battle (a path we’re already moving down), the stigma that most women do not measure up, and the increase in frequency and severity of female injuries.
- Should we place women in the Infantry? I don’t know. In time we could morph our military into a ‘Starship Trooper’ paradigm where men and women are in the Infantry, sharing the same showers and it’s no big deal but we’re not there yet.
- Do ‘I’ want women in the Infantry? Unequivocally ‘NO’. I was raised mostly by my single mother. I grew up feeling the responsibility and burden of having to be the man in the house and protect my mother. As a male chauvinist, I would never want to put a woman in the Infantry. Let’s not be politically correct, Infantrymen are specifically trained to do nothing but kill. Even under the umbrella of protecting, we focus our defensive plans around repelling enemy actions. The mission of the Marine Corps Infantry is ‘To locate, close with and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver and repel the enemies’ assault through fire and close combat’. We have but one purpose.

In closing, I would open up to you and say that I have 3 daughters. I will teach them to be strong, to know their strengths and improve on their weaknesses. To demand respect and give respect when and where it is earned. If they ask me if they should join the Infantry I will relay to them all that I have shared with you before telling them ‘we all have a purpose and responsibility in life. Most people never learn what their purpose is and very few want to take responsibility. A trained, full time, killer is not what I want my daughters to become. Haven’t women shouldered the burden of men’s lack of responsibility and failures long enough? It’s your life. Just know you are going down a path filled with pain, misery, stress, and danger from friends and enemies like you’ve never known. I’ve taught you to be strong but you’re far stronger than you know. No matter what you decide just know that God and I are always with you. Daddy loves you so go kick some @$$.’

Eddie Wheeler is a Major in the United States Marine Corps, who enjoys sports and spending time with his family.

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Filed Under: The Man Cafe, Work & Career Tagged With: combat, guest blogger, women

Women In Combat II

January 31, 2013 by Whitney Leave a Comment

Part 2 ~ Does Equality Mean One Standard.
In Part 1 I wondered if filling combat jobs is really what women wanted. In Part 2 I am of the mindset that this conversation is not adequately framed to provide the appropriate discussion on the subject. The question is not whether women should be allowed to serve in Combat jobs because when Combat comes calling either you get your @$$ to work and fight or you run or you die. To me the question is whether women should be allowed to serve in the Infantry or Infantry related jobs. I say ‘No’ until someone can practically explain to me how we implement this decision. I’m over 6 feet tall and weigh approximately 225 pounds. Over my career I’ve been at the top or near the top of all physical fitness requirements the Marine Corps demanded of me. I’ve served in the Infantry and I can tell you there were a lot of men that could not handle the job; and yet they had no option. I accept and believe the premise that there are a few women that can handle the job. The issue is whether this is what’s best for the military. How do a handful of women, in a group of a thousand men handle themselves, and how do the services treat them? What are the negative impacts brought about by taking this action? Have women’s demand for equality outpaced practicality? War actually has only one standard, and if you say there will be only one standard for service members, then you must remove the Gender adjustments applied to physical training. Using the current ‘male’ standard would most assuredly mean, in my opinion, almost 90% of women might fail physical fitness requirements for most Infantry type jobs. So what do we do? Raise the current physical standard for women or drop the current standard for men? Do we set women up for physical and career failure or degrade the Infantry’s combat effectiveness by lessening the requirements. In either scenario War and Combat do not care because they have only one standard. Remember, some men cannot keep this standard and we have been bred since the beginning of time to go to war.

Another point to address is how do we assign women to these jobs? Everyone keeps saying a woman should be allowed to enter if they want to. A lot of men don’t want to go into the Infantry but the service forces them to. Do we apply the same standard to women? If we say ‘yes’ then I would surmise we should expect a huge increase in claims from both sexes of unfair treatment by women who were ‘forced’ to serve in the Infantry. What we currently do with Infantrymen who aren’t performing is training them harder. So, now we’ve increased the rate of injuries; bone fractures, muscles tears, back problems, estrogen and fertility concerns. Is the Service (society) going to tell women they are being assigned to the Infantry and may run the risk of having fertility complications? Keeping a military ‘Can Do’ attitude, I say we can do that but when a woman says ‘I’d like to have children someday so I’d like to go into another job’ how do we respond. Should it not be with the one standard and an ‘oh well, suck it up. You’re in the Infantry now girl!’ That’s what we might do and say to a man so why not same to a woman. Remember, equality at all cost. War is not for the weak.

Eddie Wheeler is a Major in the United States Marine Corps, who enjoys sports and spending time with his family.

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Filed Under: Currently, The Man Cafe, Work & Career Tagged With: career, combat, guest blogger, women

Women In Combat

January 28, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

Today we have a guest blogger who is an Officer in the United States Marine Corps. This is part one of a three part series on his view about women in combat.

Source: tv.msnbc.com

Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you. One of the latest hot topics is should women be placed in combat jobs. I would like to address my thoughts in a 3 part series where I hope to guide you down the path of my thoughts and experiences.

Part 1 ~ Is This Really What You Want.

Let me set the context of my argument by saying I am a man who has served in the United States Marine Corps since 1990. I have served in the Infantry during my Enlisted (rank) years before receiving my commission as an Officer.

In my lifetime I have been close enough to have been touched by the Vietnam War and deployed repeatedly to Iraq in our recent War on terror. Through time, experience, education and, what I consider, spiritual enlightenment, I’ve come to my present position regarding ‘Women Serving In Combat roles’.

During my generation of war (Iraq/Afghanistan) women have always served in combat. The jobs involving logistics (transportation, supply, support, etc) have historically been filled by women. Being placed in this job field often means women run the repeated risk of being ambushed during vehicle convoys and on military bases where we believe we are safest. A question was once posed as to whether women could/should be fighter pilots and for years the ‘good ole males’ said ‘No’ mainly because we wanted to maintain the status quo and keep this gloried job to ourselves. Time and education demonstrated women could perform equally to the task of flying whether it be cargo, support or attack aircraft. The inclusion of women busted this myth and we now reap the fruits of our enlightenment. So I think one question could be should women serve on the Front Line? The ‘Front Line’ has changed over the years as combat has transitioned from symmetrical to asymmetrical. No longer do we sit on one side of the street and attack the enemy on the other side. In today’s warfare the Front Lines are all around us so being way behind the front line, where women have historically served, is a matter of perspective. The ‘rear area’ can mean you simply reside in the heart of the combat zone because the Front Line is all around you. Nurses, cooks, mechanics, military police, even clerks can find themselves in a combat situation at a moment’s notice. The Marine Corps standard is ‘Every Marine a Rifle’ speaks to our mindset that at any moment we (male and female) can be called into action to serve on some front line; be it to retrieve a fallen comrade on the field of battle or defending your compound or Forward Operating Base. Every female Marine must be prepared to stand up and take charge during the chaos of war. For you see, the Gods of War and Combat knows no gender; nor do they care. As a society have we grown weak when it comes to waging war? Let us not forget that combat is savage, brutal and a Combatant’s sole purpose is to “kill” the enemy in the most efficient manner that will allow him(her) to move on to the next objective. Sometimes efficiency comes in the form of a missile or rocket, bombs and bullets. And sometimes it comes in the savagery spawned from thrusting a knife into the body of your enemy or strangling him ‘or her’ until life no long exists. To truly move forward in this conversation we must face ourselves in the mirror. Is this what women are saying they want?

Eddie Wheeler is a Major in the United States Marine Corps, who enjoys sports and spending time with his family.

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Filed Under: Currently, The Man Cafe, Work & Career Tagged With: combat, guest blogger, military, women

Job Hunting 2013 Update

January 18, 2013 by Whitney 16 Comments

Soooo, no one is knocking down my doors to offer me a job, shame isn’t it? That means, this girl gotta get creative and start to create her own opportunities. I have been busy doing just that. I’ll keep working as an independent contractor, doing customer service work, the requirement for that is 15 hours a week. I try to do at least 20 to bring in a little to help out, it buys groceries, I pay a bill or two with it. Funny thing is, I actually like working from home, it gives me freedom because I can set my own hours. Does it pay a lot of money? No, and that’s where creating other opportunities come in. I’ve got a couple of things working, but I can say that blogging is one way I’m going to have some residual income. I’m currently researching ads for my blog, I am a social media specialist, why not use it as a way to bring generate income?

For some reason, direct sales keeps calling my name. I have the qualifications, engaging, and can strike up a conversation with anyone. I get all excited and then I lose interest or something in that area, it’s me. Part of my reason is I don’t like being pressured to recruit. I would love to sell the product, just don’t want to pressure people to join my team. I know, I know that’s how you make your money. I’ve just never been a fan of high pressure tactics, that’s probably from my years at AT&T in business sales, quotas, daily contests and threats of disciplinary actions if you don’t make your numbers. I’m going to check it out again, and make a decision. I have the time and ideas on how I want to grow my business.

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Filed Under: Work & Career Tagged With: blogging, direct sales, job hunting

A Woman’s Intuition

January 14, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

A woman’s intuition. When you end that bad relationship even though it was feeling so good, when you don’t let your children go somewhere or do something because you have a feeling of what can or will happen, a job that we hate but keep because we are the sole provider for our family. You know when you ask your husband “does my butt look big” when you already know it is but want him to help that fragile self esteem.

Second guessing yourself can be costly, whether it’s finances, emotional or as a matter of fact. I believe when we second guess ourselves, we take away the natural process that women possess. We are on different levels, some of us have that strong sense, and others it goes right over our head. What we do with it is what give us power, don’t you believe? I’ve spent a lot of time second guessing myself on quite a few issues that it makes me shake my head, but I can’t waste time on “should of, could of, would of”. When you try to act on that gut reaction, it can be scary, stressful and will wreck your nerves. That is when you have to push forward, harder and dive into the unknown territory so you can achieve the desires you dream about but are afraid to seek. Prayer helps too.

Yesterday at church, my pastor spoke about how we are all unique and God wants us to use “our” unique quality. I believe we can relate that to a woman’s intuition, by being yourself and listening to your gut. As I start to take the next step in building my brand, I want to allow myself to listen to that intuition that is speaking to me when I am apprehensive or just plain afraid. I no longer want to allow fear to hold me back, can’t afford it anymore.

One thing about listening to your intuition, it’s a sense of freedom, because the possibilities are endless and we have the control and realize that if we don’t take the chance, we’ll never know. With that being said, I’m gonna take Cafe Mocha Reflections to the next level, add a little more spice to it, but continue to write good posts about my life, marriage, motherhood, WAHM and whatever else inspires me. I want to have a little more fun with it and I may even do a video or two. That scares me, but I will accept the challenge….maybe one video. I’ve already made a few changes and there are a few more to come. There will be give-a-ways (maybe 1 or 2) and a link up once I figure out how to do them. The best is yet to come! Have a wonderful, productive day!

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Filed Under: Inspirational, Work & Career Tagged With: dreams, intuition, motivation

Job Hunting 2012 Style

November 29, 2012 by Whitney 24 Comments

When people say job hunting is a full time job, it’s the truth. I have started my quest to find a job. I haven’t looked for a job since 1998, and a girl is rusty. Everything is online now, no calling, filling out applications. Now it’s doing everything online, including uploading your resume and cover letter. I think once we move and get settled, I’m going to take a class at the community center or community college and work on my computer skills. My husband is a veteran and he’s also 30% disabled, so I can look for military friendly companies and use that preference. I’m not sure how that works, but I’m gonna find out soon. I know it’s helpful if I want to work for the US Government, not sure about the private sector. It is a little overwhelming, but I have to come up with a system that’s gonna help me while we do everything else. I’m not giving it my all now because of the holidays and we are moving at the end of December, but I just want to see what’s out there now.

It takes hours to research for jobs, apply online and make sure all your documentation is uploaded correctly. I’m gonna have to set a schedule when I start to do this after the move, because I have to be organized with everything. I’ll probably spend early mornings looking for jobs, which means Zumba will have to be moved to late afternoon. Uh oh, I’ll just have to make myself do it. I like to exercise in the mornings. I’ll work something out.

I have over 25 years of experience, I’ve done so many things, I know my experience will help me get a job. I have excellent computer skills, although I still get stuck with my WordPress issues (ugh!). I also have another issue and that’s my age. I’ve heard and read horror stories about people my age being discriminated because of age. I know they can’t discriminate but let’s be real, hope my youthful looks help when I go on interviews (wink, wink). It may be time to consider doing a rinse to cover some of this gray, whatcha think? I really don’t want to do that, but appearance is very important, and I don’t want someone interviewing me thinking I’m a little too old to work for their company. Maybe I shouldn’t think that way, don’t want to set my self up for that, just go in and give my best at an interview. Can you tell I’m nervous already?

Any suggestions you all have for me with my next endeavor? I’m preparing myself now, so when we are settled, I’ll have a plan. Have a wonderful day everyone!

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Filed Under: Currently, Work & Career Tagged With: age, experience, job hunting, menopause, starting over

What’s Brewing at The Mocha Cafe

August 25, 2012 by Whitney Leave a Comment

It has been a busy week! I’m really getting my groove back, girls in school, husband getting used to his new work location, it’s all coming together. Haven’t been able to do much this week, we did go to Fort Leavenworth yesterday to break the place it. My husband believes in using his military services, and will ask any company if they give a military discount. He will put that company on the back burner if they don’t. The brother takes that stuff seriously.

The Rep Todd Akin (R-Mo) doesn’t seem to be going away, we’ll see how that all turns out. Did you see my open letter to him? Check it out here. I try not to use this platform for politics, but I felt I needed to say something in regards to our rights. I just ask that you all vote, it’s our right and duty.

Did you all see the video clip or read on social media about Tony Farmer, the high school basketball star from Ohio that was convicted for attacking his ex-girlfriend? He was convicted and sentenced to three years in prison for the attack and fainted during the sentencing. Please go here to read this article and see the video and tell me what you think. What if that were your daughter? Yes, he has ruined his future right now and won’t be able to play college ball, but he beat this young woman up, kicked her repeatedly, while she cowered in the corner trying to protect herself. This is another one I’ll show my girls so they can see it first hand what I mean about boyfriends, and what to look for. It can happen to any of them, so I won’t say it can’t happen to my girls. I pray of course that it won’t, I talk to them about what really happens in life, I don’t sugar coat anything.

I’m getting out this evening, going to see Sparkle with some old friends/co-workers. I’m excited, haven’t done much face to face socializing in a very long time. I’ll give details and my opinion about the movie next week, been getting mixed reviews. I saw the original Sparkle when I was in high school, loved it but I was 15 at the time. I bought the soundtrack which was done by Aretha Franklin. Check out this clip with Irene Cara and Philip Michael Thomas, one of my favorite parts of the movie.

As you all know, I’m an independent contractor for Arise, they contract people to do customer service work from home. I started working for my new client in January, and just got offered a new contract. Yay and thank you Jesus, it’s hard finding jobs these days and I’m just glad I am working and that I can do it from the comfort of my home. For those looking to work from home, go to The Work At Home Woman it’s filled with jobs, entreprenuer opportunities and just about anything for women who want to work from home. Sorry this was so late, have a great weekend.

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Filed Under: Fashion and Style, News & Politics, The Mocha Cafe, Work & Career Tagged With: news, politics, random, work

Spyware, Viruses & Pain In The…Oops

June 13, 2012 by Whitney 16 Comments

I had to buy a new computer for work on Monday. The old Dell was over 7 years old and it was my husbands computer. I clicked on a link on a website I use everyday and it had spy-ware on it. I was stressed because Microsoft wanted to charge $99 to clean the system and remove the spy-ware. The computer is old, and my husband didn’t want to spend the money on removing the spy-ware/virus and it was guaranteed for 30 days. It is such a pain to buy a new computer, all my old info is on that computer and I can’t access any of it. Files, documents, pictures it’s all lost. Had to purchase Microsoft Office 2010, haven’t installed that yet. I will not let this get me down, I still have my iMac and I love it. Wish I could do my work from my iMac, it would make life more simple. I know there are reports that iMac’s can get viruses, but I thank God I haven’t had any problems.

The virus completely messed up my day, wasn’t able to get anything else done. It took 3 hours to run a full scan on the computer, I had to give up hours I was scheduled to work. I took it in stride, nothing I could do about it. When I felt the stress coming, I said a quick prayer and a deep breath. No joke, and it helped me get through the day. I just have to watch my credit cards and other account info very closely. I may even consider changing them since most of them are debit cards. I know my husband was mad, but I was proud of him for not going completely off about it, I felt bad enough. What a costly mistake I made, but I honestly didn’t know that would happen. Kind of has me cautious about surfing my favorite websites now.

I got a new Dell laptop, I really like it since I had to get a windows based computer for work. Plus it will allow me to work when I have to go to Kansas City during this move. I also have a 3 year warranty and support against viruses, spyware and any other type of infections that will compromise my computer. Good thing, I was able to download my programs so I could work today.

In the end, it was an inconvenience and costly. We were just talking about replacing my work computer soon, but we didn’t want to do it before the move. I probably have to put off the camera I wanted for my birthday, but that’s okay. I have a brand new laptop to work from, thanks to my wonderful husband. Thanks honey!

Pictures of my new laptop, old desktop and the sunset on the drive home, very calming. No feelings were hurt or arguments happened as a result of my mistake. Have you all had this happen before and how did you handle it?

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