Lifestyle - cafe mocha reflections

Family Holiday Weekend

May 28, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

Happy Tuesday everyone, it was a great weekend in my world, hope you all had a great one too. My husband wanted to take a day road trip to one of his favorite restaurants, Lambert’s Cafe in Sikeston, MO. It’s a two hour drive south of St Louis. It was a beautiful day for a drive, and we were prepared, girls had a movie and their electronic devices, and I had my iPad and my Essence magazine. He did all the driving too, which I was more than happy to let him have the wheel. I do about 90% of the driving in the family so it was time for me to ride, relax and catch up on some reading. We arrived about 2:00 and the place was packed. There were people from Missouri, Tennessee, Indiana and even Kentucky. My husband went to get us a number, they were serving number 106 and our number was 154. They told him it was about a 45 minute wait. It went by quickly, I started taking pictures and preparing in my head what to write about this place. Funny, the first thing my husband said is you need to blog about this, I’m two steps ahead of you dear. In a bloggers mind, everything is a possible post!

Lambert’s is a family owned restaurant with a lot of history, memorabilia and a nice gift shop. My husband was too excited about the stove, I think my aunt had one similar, it was white. The staff wears jeans, white shirts and red suspenders. They throw their dinner rolls to customers, the best hot homemade rolls. Just raise your hand and be ready to catch. We all caught our rolls, one was overthrown and the whole restaurant lets out a “awwww” when you miss your roll! The food was good, everyone enjoyed their meal. I had the meatloaf, I wasn’t that impressed with it. I make a pretty good meatloaf, so you gotta make it better than mine. The shrimp dinner was delicious, that’s what my oldest daughter had, my husband had a chicken gizzards dinner and the youngest had a very big cheeseburger. The servers walk around and serve you unlimited side dishes in addition to your meal, black eye peas, fried potatoes, cucumber & onion salad to name a few and the endless mouth-watering dinner rolls. This is NOT the restaurant to go to if you are trying to lose weight. Even the salad is served in a big bread bowl, huge and you will leave with a to go container.

The prices were moderate, the average about $12-13 per meal. More for steak and the shrimp was $15, but she got plenty. We left with a dozen dinner rolls, a very sweet cinnamon roll and to go containers. We stopped at the outlet mall and did a little shopping. I stayed awake on the way back, ok I dozed off at the end. I think we all went to bed by 8:00 Friday night.

The rest of the weekend was shopping, working and church. My husband became the grill master yesterday and I was his humble assistant. He get so into grilling, pretty intense. I stay out of the way and try to keep the kitchen clean. I can’t stand things to be all over the place in my kitchen, drives me crazy. It’s my job to season the meat, fix the side dishes and clean the kitchen. Here’s the hubby doing his thang.

He cooked enough food to eat off all week, but that will only last for two days. They will consume most of it and it’ll be time to cook in a few days. Time for salads, fruit, eating light and plenty of fruit. Can’t wait to buy our first watermelon. How was your weekend?

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Filed Under: Family, Lifestyle, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: eating, family, grilling, history, holiday, memorial day, trip

Vision and Journey

May 23, 2013 by Whitney 4 Comments

I’m a day behind on the mini blog challenge, but I still wanted to present my vision board I made on Picmonkey. I love using Picmonkey, it’s so easy to use. It’s brief, to the point and shows what my vision is, marriage, family, blogging, natural hair, social networking and drinking coffee. Let me know what you all think!

It took me a long time to realize what my vision and purpose was. I would work at everything and try this and that, but something was always missing. I never realized how much pressure I was putting on myself by trying to live up to my last job and salary. It was way to much pressure. My husband lovingly brought that to my attention because I was stressing about not doing my part financially. That was my vision when I was a single mother, and I can’t hold myself hostage to that any longer. I’ve finally let go of the “good job” and be in control of my destiny.

My vision and reality today is working from home, blogging, crafting and being there for my family. It has taken me a while to grasp that and accept it. I’m a woman who has not been open to change, I would resist. One more layer gone, I’m loving it!

What is your vision or purpose? Share please.

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Filed Under: Entrepreneur, Family, Inspirational, Lifestyle Tagged With: blog challenge, journey, lifestyle, purpose, vision

Pink and Sparkly

April 29, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

Wow, spring is here and it’s more beautiful than ever. This season is such a wonderful time of year as gorgeous flowers peak through with their color and scent. As the days become longer and the nights become warmer, my mind is filling with ideas as a pretty major event that is looming on the horizon – the prom! I hope my daughter attends next years Prom, but this years – the dresses are simply too gorgeous to not share! I’ve found some wonderful choices for this year’s big event, and they are all stylish, beautiful, and flattering too! Take a look at some of my choices if my daughter were to attend this year and let me know what you think!

This one, from David’s Bridal, is a high-low dress in pink chiffon with sparkles and beading on the neckline. It’s strapless, so it really shows off the neck and it will be perfect with a sparkling necklace. I love the scalloping on the hem; it’s very delicate. The high front is great for showing off her pretty legs.

Now this one is a gorgeous gown from Adrienne Papell found at Nordstroms, with embellished mesh. I love the look of this dress. The dresses from this line are always very feminine and elegant too. I love the sweeping feel of this gown. It’s a divine choice and I know it would look beautiful on my daughter for the big night, no doubt about it.

Here’s my third choice, and it’s a knockout. This lace prom dress from ASOS has this amazing fitted waist and a skirt that flares out like a tutu. It’s all in black lace with an amazing neckline. I think it’s just right for dancing the night away. This one will look beautiful with black pumps, and maybe some color or sparkling jewelry around the neck. I love the way this dress feels very girlish but sophisticated at the same time.

Reviewing the various options in dresses, I definitely hope that my daughter attends Prom at least once during her high school career; it’s a night in which she will get to feel like a princes, and that is an experience that every young lady deserves to have at least once. I’m sure you’ll agree that all three of these dresses are beautiful, and it’s going to be a difficult choice deciding on the right one. Tell me in the comment section below about what dress-styles you like!

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Filed Under: Family, Lifestyle Tagged With: daughter, family, pink, prom

Protect Your Identity

April 23, 2013 by Whitney 4 Comments

Image courtesy of chanpipat via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saturday I received a call from our bank wanting to verify some purchases made with our debit cards. We were both home Saturday, the call came in at about 9:00am. It was an automated system and they started asking about purchases made on Saturday at Walmart. Neither one of us had been out of the house so I immediately got very nervous. When I verified that neither one of us had made the purchases, I was transferred to a representative that told me she had to cancel my husband’s debit card because someone had been fraudulently using it. The purchases were made in Pennsylvania and South Carolina. I began asking all kinds of questions, she reassured me that they protect our account and are covered 100% by the bank. It was truly scary sitting there listening to how someone was trying to spend our money that we worked hard for. It makes you vulnerable, we have so much that we have to do in this life, now we have to make sure someone isn’t trying to steal our identity or hard earned money?

One of the grocery store chains here had a security breach and people all over the metropolitan St Louis area that shopped at that store and used their debit cards were having fraudulent activity on their cards. I’m sure we were a part of that because my husband goes their while he’s working to purchase lunch. They are talking big lawsuit here, just gotta investigate and see if that’s where they got our info from.

Less than two weeks ago, I was watching the Rikki Lake Show and the episode was about identity theft and fraud. I heard some horror stories how people have had their identity stolen and how hard it was to repair your credit and get your life back in order. One woman even investigated her own case and found the woman that had stolen her identity. She called the police and confronted the woman who ran from her. I watched the rest of the show and the experts that she had on the show said we could do the following things to protect ourselves:

1. Don’t pay for gas at the pump, go inside and use credit instead of debit.

2. Don’t use ATM’s that you can drive up, try going inside to a machine.

3. Use cash as much as possible.

I can probably adhere to all of those, not using the ATM will be tough, I’m so used to going to one and then going on my way. The expert that Rikki Lake had on the show said that thieves have a device that they put inside ATM card reader that when you swipe your card, they get your information. She recommended that we not use the ATM”s outside, go inside and use the ATM machines. We all shop online and I may have to start using Paypal more. It’s supposed to be more secure, I have a Paypal account and I will utilize it more.

You may also want to check everyone in your household’s credit, even the children because their identity can be stolen too. One woman on the show spent two years trying to clear up her teen aged daughters credit. None of us are protected against these thieves, so we have to be proactive. We have considered Lifelock but we just don’t want another bill at this time, but it may be worth it.

I don’t like carrying cash, because I feel like I spend more when I have it, but I’m gonna have to start using the cash option. Protect your identity, it’s the only one you have. Have any of you been victims of identity theft and do you have any other tips to share on protecting your identity?

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Filed Under: Currently, Lifestyle Tagged With: credit, fraud, identity theft

Budget Sequestration Hits Home

April 22, 2013 by Whitney 12 Comments

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono via FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ok I’m gonna be a little self indulgent this morning because I’m in shock. I’m an avid news watcher, I keep up on what’s going on in our country and the world. When I’m behind, my husband keeps me informed. The budget sequestration that the US Government has set up is about to affect us all in one way or another. As you all know, my husband is retired military and we go the Scott Air Force Base probably twice a month to grocery shop. You can’t beat the prices especially on meat. It’s about a 30 minute drive, that’s why I only go twice a month. Every quarter they have a Case Lot Sale, where they offer huge savings on bulk items and other things, mostly bulk. I called to find out when the next Case Lot Sale and I was informed that because of sequestration, it’s cancelled until next May. The woman on the phone said they would have “sidewalk sales” but couldn’t give me any dates.

To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. We like to stock up on certain things and the Case Lot sale allows us to do that. I know there’s Sam’s Club and Costco, but when you shop at the commissary we don’t pay sales tax, and when you are spending $100-200, that’s a nice savings. Besides, when we go to Sam’s Club or Costco, we always spend a lot of money on things we don’t need. Don’t let us go out there hungry, we taste all the food they are cooking and end up buying the food. They do that on purpose, marketing is everything in those stores. We don’t have those distractions with the Case Lot sales, they are outside in the parking lot, and no one cooking and trying to sell you food you don’t need. Gotta sit down and figure out a new strategy.

It’s really new, but the new budget is working so far. We’ll see, summer is coming and the girls need a few new pieces. I’ll just hit up some of my budget friendly stores like Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Target, Burlington Coat Factory and a few more. They both need new swimming suits and cover ups this year, they are so expensive. I think even found one for myself, a big step for me….and a cover up. I haven’t owned a swimming suit since I was in my 20s, so this will be interesting.

My family has been in a budget sequestration for quite some time, it’s a way of life for most of us. I’m grateful for what we have and how I work our budget, it’s a skill and I’m proud of how I spend our money. There’s always room for improvement, and I’m working on those now. Do you have tips to share on how you manage your budget?

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Filed Under: Family, Lifestyle, Marriage Tagged With: budget, discount, finances, sales, shopping

An Evening With Curly Nikki

April 8, 2013 by Whitney 12 Comments

Nikki Walton aka Curly Nikki was a pleasure to meet on Saturday. The place was packed with natrualistas, relaxed and weaved hair sistas and everything in between. It was fun looking at the beautiful women, the complete look from head to toe. I took plenty of pictures, but because it was in a club like setting, the lighting was dim and I didn’t get the best, but I’m sharing what I have.

The event was presented by Shea Moisture with special guest Q-Redew, and sponsored by Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey and Chambord Flavored Vodka. They had alcoholic drinks to honor Nikki, Curly Nikki Cosmo, Curlfriend, Kinky Bee and Shea Moisture Honey Bee. We were given a complimentary drink ticket and I had the Curlfriend and it was quite tasty. I must admit it was delicious. They had young women walking around offering finger food and samples of the Curly Nikki signature drinks. They were beautiful, gracious and kind servers. The hostesses with the Shea Moisture t-shirts on were helpful, full of product information and extremely friendly. I truly appreciate great customer service, something that is hard to come by these days.

Nikki got up and said a few words of gratitude and expressed how it felt to be back in her hometown celebrating the success of her new book, “Better Than Good Hair”.

I participated in videotaping my hair story, being interviewed and sharing my experience was fun and I wasn’t nervous at all. Do I have a new career in the making? Who knows. They had consultations for anyone that wanted to participate, we even did the Wooble! That was a lot of fun and yep I participated. I had to show those young women I could Wobble, I was tired when we finished though!

Nikki worked the room, very gracious with her fans and followers, taking pictures and signing her book. There wasn’t a bad attitude in the room and I made a friend that evening. She came to the event alone like I did, we stood in line together. Once we got in we went our separate ways but saw each other and hung out for the rest of the evening. I love real time networking, it was fun and we all need it from time to time.

I was so glad I attended the book signing event, I almost didn’t go. I was running late, didn’t take my twists out and when I stepped out the house to tripped over my own feet and fell flat on the concrete! My daughter had just closed the door and I called her like the old people do in the commercial when they’ve fallen and can’t get up. I was so disgusted with my clumsiness, but I got up, dusted myself off and got in the truck and kept going. My daughter tried to help me, she weighs 100 pounds and she was there more for moral support while I struggled to get up, poor thing.

The book signing event was a very professional, organized and just simply enjoyable. Curly Nikki was gracious and I had a wonderful time. Congratulations again to Nikki Walton and your continued success.

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Filed Under: Entrepreneur, Fashion and Style, Lifestyle, My Hair Story Tagged With: book tour, curlynikki, meetup, natural hair, networking

What’s Brewing at The Cafe

April 5, 2013 by Whitney 10 Comments

I want to start off with saying a big thank you! What a wonderful feeling it is to set a goal and achieve it! We met our goal of $100! It was amazing the love and support my daughter has received during our fundraiser for Autism Speaks! I am overjoyed and humbled by the support. My daughter was so excited. She understands her disability or difficulty with social interaction and communication but that doesn’t stop her. This may have me making some changes regarding my Divatude Challenge.

Scandal….I’m gonna start a support group because ABC keeps giving us 3 to 4 weeks and then takes it off for 3 weeks. I could hear everyone in Twitter world gasp when they showed the scenes of the next episode and the dreadful words in 3 weeks. Our hearts can’t take that, stop it ABC. It was so good though, Jake was like “WTH” when he saw Fitz ~~hugging~~ falling on Liv. Ok, sorry only #Gladiators will understand that. I guess I’ll have to find something else to do for the next couple of Thursday evenings, probably work. Making money is a good trade off.

I would like to announce that I will be accepting requests for guest bloggers. You don’t have to be over 40, just have something that you would think all women would benefit from. It could be fashion and beauty, health, family, relationships. I do ask that it’s positive and no profanity. My goal is to feature guest bloggers twice a month, more depending on the responses I get. Please email me your request at agapevirtualenterprises@gmail.com. I’m also using Bloglovin to follow my favorite blogs now. You can follow my blog by clicking on the link I provided.

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Spring is finally here! It will be in the 60s and 70s this weekend. Curly Nikki will be here this weekend and I will be there. I hope I can get a chance to meet her and take a few pictures to share with you all. Gotta find something cute to wear and a great comfortable pair of flats. I don’t wear heels to an event where I will be doing a lot of standing or walking. I know my limits. Hope you all are enjoying spring in your city or town.

How was your week and what’s your plans for the weekend? Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

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Filed Under: Family, Lifestyle, The Mocha Cafe Tagged With: autism, Bloglovin, curlynikki, guest bloggers, random, scandal, spring

Spring Cleaning Time!

March 25, 2013 by Whitney 6 Comments

Now that it’s officially spring, time to do a little cleaning. That also includes your closet and anything else that you are holding on to that you need to let go of. Some of the clothes you are holding on to are for two reasons, to lose the weight, or come back in style. I know, I have those same outfits in my closet. You are probably reading this thinking, I’m not about to get rid of this suit, I paid $350 and it’s a designer suit. When I bought it 20 years ago, I promised myself the I would never get rid of it, even though I haven’t worn it in 10 years. This woman is crazy.

I am very guilty of this myself. This thing menopause keeps 20 30 extra pounds on me just because and I can’t wear everything in my closet. I am not giving up on losing the extra weight, but I know it’s time to purge and donate some of my clothing. When I lose the weight, I’ll get a few new things. I did this last year when we moved, but I still have things I kept because I just couldn’t let go. I’m turning into my mother, love you momma but I am. She kept clothes forever. When she passed away in 2003, I was the one who went through her closet since I was the surviving daughter. My mother had clothes in her closet from 1970, seriously. She was very particular and had everything stored properly and neatly. I almost felt guilty giving most of it away, no one wanted it and I was taller and heavier than my mom. I did however keep her designer handbags and carry them to this day. Love the vintage feel when I carry them.

Funny, I don’t have a problem going through my girls’ closet, because children grow and I can’t stand their closet to be cluttered. I give away their clothes every year, but very little in that give-away pile comes from my closet. My closet isn’t cluttered, I just hate giving my clothes away. I’m gonna make that change this year, some of the clothes are getting close to 10 years old and I simply don’t wear them anymore. That also includes shoes. That’s gonna hurt because I love shoes, I might have to rethink the shoes. I’m gonna try to follow this philosophy that if I haven’t worn/used it in 3 years, I’m giving it away to someone that would get use out of the clothing or object.

I may as well do it for the rest of my things, household items is my next project. I moved them twice last year and don’t use half that stuff. Ok, some of it is from my first marriage in 1987. I know, let it go and I will. That will empty about 4 or 5 boxes in my storage area. Wonder what makes us hold on to stuff the way we do? My husband will not throw away boxes, if we’ve purchased something, we still have the box for it. He also has that set of large, I mean huge speakers from when we had the big stereos! He doesn’t even have the stereo any longer but refuses to get rid of the speakers. So between me and my old wedding gifts, his box thing and those speakers, we could clear up a bunch of stuff and have room for that refrigerator that they took apart when we moved in December. Yes, my brand new refrigerator that we can’t use because we are renting now. They had to take it apart to get it in the townhouse. I still get heated when I go down there and look at it all taken apart like a project or something to do.

I have several organizations in my area that I donate to, Goodwill, Vietnam Veterans of America, Salvation Army. We’ll have a big donation coming in the next few weeks and whoever can come pick this stuff up will get it. Do you all donate clothing and other goods to charity? How often do you purge and give away clothing and other items?

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Filed Under: Currently, Lifestyle, Marriage, Menopause Mania

My Relationship With Spanx

March 11, 2013 by Whitney 8 Comments

I have a love/hate relationship with Spanx. As a matter of fact, it’s a necessary relationship with the product. I’m not sure if any of you all wear Spanx, but here’s my story….

After having weight loss surgery in 2003, I lost 120 pounds. Being very proud of that transformation, I started buying clothes and loving my new size. I was always a fashion diva, always. I don’t tell that sad story that I couldn’t find anything to wear, I was just too big. Anyway back to the story at hand. I was walking around work confident and very happy with my new size. One evening two co-workers/friends called. I wondered why we were on a three way call, soon to find out why. Well they told me that I shook like jello when I walked. I was mortified, but played it off, thanked them and quickly got off the phone. I sat there wondering how I must have looked walking around jiggling all over the place. My momma taught me to always make sure you look good from the front and the back. It was late, I didn’t have time to run to the mall to buy a girdle, the old name for shape wear.

The next day I wore a pair of slacks, but this time I wore pantyhose under them to control the jiggle. My friend came to my desk to see if I was mad at her, and I reassured her I wasn’t. That was my fault, I knew better than that, and I’m glad she brought it to my attention. We actually had a big laugh about it Friday evening when we went out for our Happy Hour gathering. That weekend, I hit the mall in search of a girdle. I found one that was made for slacks and long skirts, bought it without knowing the price which was about $50 at Dillards. It was the old heavy, with the tummy panel and by the end of the day, I was knocking everyone down to take that sucker off! I would wash it out if I had to wear it the next day, couldn’t afford to buy more than one. Next payday, I went to Lane Bryant, and they used to have their brand that were like biker shorts. I bought four of them, 3 black and 1 beige. I also ordered out of the Lane Bryant catalog one of those girdle slips. I still own all of those to this day. I had invested some big bucks in shape wear.

Source: Community QVC

I was at Lane Bryant a few weeks later and that’s when I saw the Spanx display. I must have spent 30 minutes reading and checking this product out, and they were pricey! I asked the sales person about them and she promised me it was a great investment. I bought one because they were so expensive. This was on a Saturday. I wore it to church on Sunday to test this wonderful product and see inches go away. It took me 20 minutes to get the 8 inch Spanx on my 50 inch hips! What the hell is exactly what I was thinking, the whole time sweating like I just ran several miles. Whoa, was this worth it? I sat on the bed thinking, this is not comfortable, I have to sing and be uncomfortable for 3 hours? By the time I got to church, it wasn’t that bad and I was looking good, my hips were under control. I loved it, worth every dime. I own one high waist Spanx and several pairs of the footless tights.

Whenever I wear Spanx, I don’t drink because I don’t want to go to the bathroom. Once I take this baby off, it’s done for the day. You know I love drinking my coffee in the mornings but had to stop on Sundays until after church because I don’t want to spend 20 minutes in the bathroom. I have to wear them, I am hippy and need them to smooth my look in my clothes. I wear lighter ones in the summer because I will pass out if had that baby on during the summer months. I am not getting paid to write this post, I just wanted to share my love/hate relationship with Spanx and see if any of you wear them or something similar to them.

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Filed Under: Currently, Fashion and Style, Lifestyle Tagged With: clothing, comfort, spanx, style

Church, Leadership & Service

February 26, 2013 by Whitney 8 Comments

I am a child of God, not perfect, humbled and knowing his grace and mercy carries me at all times. I don’t normally talk about church issues, but sometimes you must share to give people an understanding of certain situations and to help in making a decision.

I was very involved with my church before I moved to St Louis in 2010. I was President of the choir, which gave me the responsibility of the day to day activities of the choir. We had a large congregation, nice new church and I was very happy to serve. We had one mass choir and there was a choir for the children. I was apprehensive but eager to start my new position, wanting to do a good job and impress my Pastor, who also happened to be a good friend of mine from high school. To this day, I prefer not to be personal friends with my Pastor, I want to get to know him like everyone else in the church.

Working with “church folk” can be one of the greatest challenges you could ever face. My Pastor wanted a very professional running church, which was a great expectation to have. He would say all the time that the church should be run like a corporation, requiring us to take leadership classes that would take up your whole weekend. Sometimes, I would be at the church almost everyday except Monday, the one day the church was closed. Mind you, I was recently divorced and my children were much younger. My brother lived with me at the time, so they were home with him while I was at the church. The choir had to attend weekly rehearsals, sing at bible study, workshops, and other activities throughout the year, which I had to help organize and prepare for. Now as a leader, it was my responsibility to delegate. I tried, I really did but people would remind me that they had jobs, kids and a life. I couldn’t disagree with that and so the responsibility was on me, the other officers and the choir director most of the time.

This is my current church, Shalom Church City of Peace, St Louis, MO.

I served in this capacity for a total of four years, the first two as Vice-President and then as President. Just like the Presidents before me, I endured gossip, almost being cursed out, being reprimanded for something a choir member wore or didn’t wear to cover up and countless other things. I would have to pray every Sunday morning asking God to give me the strength to endure what I’ve been assigned to do.

I’ve belonged to my new church for two years. I haven’t been active any any church activities, I admit I wasn’t ready for the work nor the drama associated with it. The last two weeks brought back memories for me at my new church. My daughter portrayed Michelle Obama in the Black History program at church and I volunteered to help and buy snacks. The associate minister asked if I would buy the 50 count box of Lays potato chips that they sell at Sam’s Club. I agreed, he asked me to get four boxes and he would reimburse me for two. Do you know those chips are $11.98 a box? Guess what? The young minister gave me a $20 dollar bill and said, I’ll get you tomorrow. Unfortunately, he never got a chance to pay me and I didn’t bring it up. Two women actually had an exchange of words over a scene in the program at rehearsal the day before the program and don’t you know the next day when we were preparing for the program, I heard one of the ladies still talking about it?

I miss participating in ministries at church and I know I need to be participating in something. I am currently looking at the different ministries that the church offers and trying to find one that is a good fit for me. Yes, I’m praying about it too. The girls want to sing in the choir, I’ll leave the singing to them this time. I know people are bringing who they are, faults and all and I’m forgiving and non judgmental (most of the time), I just don’t want to spread myself so thin that I’m burned out and don’t want to participate at all. I want to be prepared for “church folk” because if you aren’t strong enough, you will allow them to stop you from not serving and being in fellowship with people at church. We are in control of that, not other people. You also never know when people look at you that they see God in you, so you always want to take yourself out of the situation and attitudes when serving God. It’s hard I know, but it’s necessary. Tell me, do you all participate in church activities and how do you handle “church folk”?

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