June 2012 Archives - cafe mocha reflections

My Challenge for July

June 30, 2012 by Whitney 4 Comments

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I usually don’t blog on weekends but since this is June 30th, and I didn’t blog yesterday, I wanted to share with you my plans for July. I will be 50 on July 3rd, I’m moving back to my hometown, Kansas City. I have to pack and organize this move while being wife, mom and maintaining my sanity. I decided to blog about my activities this month so I can look back on this as hopefully a wonderful memory. I plan to blog Monday through Friday during the month of July. I normally blog three days a week, so this will be very interesting.

My only sister died in 1997 at age 49, three months before her 50th birthday. I have always felt that deep down inside I wasn’t going to make it to my 50th birthday. I know that sounds bizarre, but I used to let those thoughts bother me. My sister was 15 years older than me and even though we were like night and day, I looked up to her. I can’t share pictures of her because my pictures are at the bottom of the pile in our storage area, I’ll post them later in the month when I get down to them. She didn’t like taking pictures even though she was a beautiful woman. I feel so blessed that I decided I wanted to blog about my journey on turning 50. We are starting with a concert to see Will Downing tonight, one of our favorites. Thank goodness it’s at a nice venue with air conditioning!

I love shoes, if you follow me on Pinterest, it’s one of my biggest boards. I did a little shopping yesterday, bought these shoes….but I may take them back. I also have to be practical this month, and they don’t match one thing in my closet! They are suppose to be beige/tan, but they look pink. What do you think? I got them at Nordstrom Rack and paid a bit more than I normally would have. They are AGL (who???) and the retail price is $325 and I paid $79. They are extremely comfortable which is very important to me these days, very. They just don’t match the dress I wanted to wear. Plan B? Wear some white pants and a “new” top, that will work! I’m going out to get me a new blouse/top to wear with these shoes, that will be cheaper. I’ll post pictures of our evening on Monday.

Then there’s the move…wow, so much to do. I called the school district and they told me that school starts August 16th, so I’ll have almost two weeks to get them registered in school. Hopefully that will be painless, they make you bring so much to prove you live in the district. Ummm, I still own my house in this district, so they’re good, but a policy is a policy. I’ll have my ducks in a row. I found a moving company and scheduled them last week, and having utilities turned on this week. Here’s a picture of the mess “we” have to start packing. I’m donating a lot of our things, mostly clothing and shoes. The girls and I have plenty to give away.

I’m off to a good start, but have plenty to do. Blogging will definitely help me this month, I will apologize to everyone in advance. Have a great weekend!

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Currently, Family, Inspirational, Lifestyle Tagged With: birthday, blog challenge, fun, moving, stress, therapy

Emergency Room Scare…

June 27, 2012 by Whitney 14 Comments

I spent the evening at the emergency room with my oldest daughter last night. She had been complaining of a headache for the last few days, I’d give her Advil and have her lay down. Monday, she had a fever and I thought it was from heat exhaustion, it’s been pretty hot here lately and she walks home from summer school. She is also taking a summer fitness class at school, so I thought that may have been the issue. I took her temperature and it was 104.7! I immediately went into Dr. Mom mode and told her to get dressed, told my husband we are going to the emergency room and hit the road. I was a nervous wreck but I had to remain calm so I wouldn’t scare neither one of my girls. Our children react based on what they see from us, so I didn’t want them to know I was scared. I had been asking her questions the last few days, did this or that hurt and she would only say that her head hurt. So unusual for her to have a headache for that long. I know my daughter, she doesn’t want me to know when she isn’t feeling good. She had to have a mass on her breast lanced last year and I didn’t know she had it until it was the size of a golf ball and she was in severe pain. We barely made it through the procedure, she screamed and cried and I did too while trying to calm her. So I understand why she didn’t me, but I had to stress to her that she can’t do that because of what waiting does to your body. I think she understood, but we’ll discuss this in more detail when she’s feeling better.

Sitting there waiting, watching my baby in so much pain, you can imagine how I was feeling. Helpless, just helpless. I was fluffing her pillow and noticed a big red hard area on the left side of her lower back. It had a bite right in the middle that she had scratched. That was it, I found the problem! She had cellulitis, the IV was immediately started with the antibiotics going in her system as well as Tylenol to reduce that fever. She was extremely uncomfortable, I had to calm her all evening. I explained to everyone that she was autistic and a little nervous about getting a “shot”. That’s all she cared about, so when the nurse came to withdraw blood, I had to really work with her so they could draw blood. I gotta say, my girl did great! I had to keep telling her to look at me because we didn’t want her jumping when the nurse pricked her with the needle. She was gentle and kind to my baby, explaining every move she made. The doctor was just as kind and explained everything so my daughter would understand what was going on. The only thing that she kept asking them was when she could leave, she wanted to go home!

Three and a half hours later, at 11:35 we finally left the emergency room at Barnes Jewish West County Hospital, two prescriptions in hand and instructions to follow up for her care. She rested quite well last night, and I’m happy to say she is her usual happy teenaged girl this morning! Talk about the power of prayer! I don’t mind babying her, it’s my pleasure. My baby is going to be fine. Look at her face this morning….still has on her wrist band. I’m so relieved! Have a good day and be encouraged, I am!

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Family, Health & Wellness, Inspirational, Relationships Tagged With: faith, family, illness, love

My Third Child….My Husband

June 25, 2012 by Whitney 4 Comments

Disclaimer….I love my husband very much.

My husband is a hard working man, give you the shirt off his back, his last dime, and will help anyone in need. He isn’t feeling good right now, he has a horrible skin rash/allergies. He gets it every year, but for some reason this year it is bad. Of course, he is uncomfortable and scratching, complaining and whining. I can usually handle it, but he really needs to go to the doctor. He will not let me put the ointment on him, but he did say if he doesn’t feel better he was going to the doctor. I can tell it’s internal and he needs a prescription.

Have you noticed this is the only time you get to see your husband/significant other vulnerable? I guess when they get sick, they can’t be the tough man that the world see. Who else can they be vulnerable with if not with us? Who else to drive you completely crazy? I don’t think the kids get like this when they are sick, you diagnose the problem, take them to see the pediatrician if needed, get their medicine and they get better. Your husband?? Rearrange your schedule, a sick husband will change all plans. I don’t know about your husband but he will not let me help him. The whining is so bad, that I have to get out the cheese because that whine needs something to go with it. I only had sliced cheese, but you get it….

Wine & cheese…… Retired tough military guy……

I know he’s uncomfortable, he’s not sleeping well and his skin looks horrible. I’m gonna make an appointment for him this morning, and have to probably just tell him we are going to breakfast on his day off and just show up at the doctor’s office. Just another day in my life and keeping my sanity. Pray for me please! Please tell me I’m not alone with this, he would DIE if he knew I was telling this…oh well. Have a great week!

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Health & Wellness, Marriage Tagged With: husband, illness, marriage, rant, sanity

Making Our Children Accountable

June 22, 2012 by Whitney 8 Comments

I was bothered more than usual about the disturbing video of Karen Huff Klein, 68 of Greece, NY who was taunted, teased and totally disrespected by middled aged students on a school bus that she was a monitor on. I had my daughters look at the video and saw how their faces change as they heard children their age talk to a woman with such disrespect and be callous and say some of the most awful things you could say to a person. I also told them that I don’t ever want to hear that they treated another person this way, ever. Of course they said they wouldn’t and I believe them. How do I know? I have compassionate girls that are very, very sensitive, plus my girls would have to face the wrath of both my husband and I. Trust me, I know kids will be kids, but they know not to try us on anything like that. We don’t play when it comes to disrespecting people. I don’t have all the answers but I believe this starts from home with bullying. Teasing has been around forever. I remember some mean girls and bullies when I was growing up, one girl in particular who was extremely mean. She had a following, and they were mean and didn’t’ care who they teased or started fights with.

Photo credit USA Today

With today’s technology, social media and everything our children have, it gives them too many resources to display their bad behavior. They think it’s okay to display it like they do, partly because what they see on TV and at home. I’ve seen girls fighting, gang fights, kids assaulting innocent people on YouTube and Facebook. They knew exactly what they were doing, and unfortunately, Karen Klein was subject to that harassment and verbal abuse. I don’t know what the punishment should be, but they should be punished. There has to be some accountability and punishment for the children. The parents must be held accountable too, what if that woman was so upset that she became ill to the point that she had to be hospitalized? The school district should review their policies and ban these children from riding the bus. Make their parents responsible for getting their children back and forth to school.

My mother was a school bus monitor in Kansas City for many years, it’s the perfect job for seniors. I’m gonna tell you something….this story would have had a different ending if this happened to my momma. Seriously, she didn’t play, especially with children. Two things, she would have called my daddy, he would call us and we would have been at that bus, I kid you not. I’m the one with the cooler head, and it’s not that cool so you can imagine what my brother would have done. I would have called the bus company and told them we were on our way to the bus and they need to get there because it was about to be some crazy mess going on. That may not be the solution to the problem, but I know my momma. She probably would have said something to the bus driver and hopefully they would have stopped the madness. Who knows. We must make our children accountable for their actions. I do, what about you?? This is the part of getting older that I don’t look forward to, she is only 18 years older than me.

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: accountability, bullies, children, family

An Intimate Night to Remember

June 20, 2012 by Whitney 11 Comments

My husband had a good Father’s Day. I started it off with brunch, breakfast pork chops, smothered potatoes and onions, scrambled eggs, biscuits, cinnamon rolls and coffee. He ate until he was uncomfortable, took a nap, went to help out our son. When he returned, laid down in the bed and slept off and on while I worked. When I finished, we started getting ready for our evening. It was hot Sunday, so we were very casual, I wore a maxi dress and he had on slacks and a nice T-shirt. We listened to The Dramatics all the way to the venue, you know to get in the mood. The Ambassador is down the street from where my mother-in-law lived, so it was sad for a few minutes as we reminisced about going to visit her and run errands or take her wherever she needed to go. We get to the venue, my husband drives me to the door as I anxiously wait for him to park. Did I say he was looking good to me that evening? Yep, he sure was…

Sun in our eyes, we weren’t mad!

We walk in, go to the door and get right in because I bought “Special VIP” tickets and reserved a table. We sit, look around see a few people that we know, greet them and get back to our table. We aren’t really drinkers, but my husband goes and gets me a glass of Moscato and he gets a soda. He purchased a dinner, chicken wing and ribs with green beans. Not bad, we shared the dinner because it was enough for two. We have pretty good seats, about 20 feet from the stage.

The opening act, a woman named Kim Massey performed and she was really good. St Louis is a blues city, so that’s all you need to get people warmed up, sing the blues for them. She sang a couple of songs, one in particular called, “If I Can’t Sell It… I’m Gonna Sit On It” . Let me say, that got the women really going. I would say the average age at the concert was 60 and up. It was the “older” crowd set for sure. They had a giveaway for the oldest and youngest fathers. The youngest was 25 and the oldest was 80. It was a lot of fun, singing and dancing. My husband knows, I’ll dance and have good time and that I did. He basically sits back, sings and watches me have fun.

We had a good time, we left right before it was over because we were tired and had to work the next day. We had a nice ride home, listening to the music by the group we just saw in concert and talked about how Monday was gonna be a long day…and it was. Here’s a video of them singing one of their biggest hits from the 70′s. Enjoy!

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: date night, father's day, intimacy, marriage

Motivating Partners

June 18, 2012 by Whitney 2 Comments

Hope you all had a great weekend and the father’s in your life had a great Father’s Day. I was having a conversation with my husband and we were talking about people that don’t finish anything they start. I have to admit, I fit into that category. I am so famous for starting something, and be super excited about it and after a while, lose interest or stop altogether. I don’t know why it happens, but I am so guilty of it. Like my business at Soul Purpose, while I still believe in the product and the business, I just simply don’t have the time now to pursue it like I would like to. The difference this time is, I’m not going to quit. I just can’t. I am however, gonna sit down after I move and look at how I want to approach the business. I have a great up line manager and I believe if I put together a plan that’s gonna work for me, I can make this work. My husband doesn’t realize that he stepped on my toes (it did hurt a little), and motivated me at the same time. I figured out my problem….prioritizing, it’s essential if you are working from home or doing anything that requires your time and hard work.

Do you have a person that motivates you, or an accountability partner? They don’t have to necessarily know they are responsible for motivating or keeping you accountable. If you choose to let them know, that’s fine, I just figured people have enough on their plate and helping to motivate or keep you accountable is just something else they have to do. I just mentally made that note and applied it accordingly. My children also motivate me to keep the spirit of youth and don’t forget to have fun. We get so caught up in our lives, work, bills, raising children that I sometimes forget to take the time and just be. And last, my girlfriends will keep it real, telling you the truth about everything else when you find the time to spend with them. I’m sure as I blog more and I build my following, you all will keep me motivated and accountable. Tell me what you think, have a great week.

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Family, Inspirational, Relationships Tagged With: accountability, family, motivation

Happy Father’s Day

June 15, 2012 by Whitney Leave a Comment

My handsome husband

What do you all have planned for your husbands and dad’s this weekend? I am taking my husband to see The Dramatics, an old school group from the 70′s. They were a group that crooned good old love songs and a few dance tunes, but were known mainly for their grooving slow dance songs. We have a good collection of their music, they are one of his favorites along with The Stylistics and The Delfonics and a few others. I got “special VIP” tickets and a reserved table. I also got him some cologne, dress socks and underwear. That is exactly what he wanted and I was happy to oblige, because he is a good father to our girls, just stepped in and did what a dad should do and I love and appreciate him for that. He doesn’t ask for much, so I wanted this to be a special day for him.

I was a daddy’s girl. I used to believe my daddy could do anything…really. He was a mechanic for TWA and retired from the Navy, and I thought he could fix anything. He was in my 8 year old mind, “the smartest, most handsome man in the whole world!” I could reason with him, he would talk to us and hear what we had to say even though he didn’t agree with us. I told everyone that, I think I got on my mom’s nerves with it because as I got older she used to tell me I thought the world of my daddy and I did. I remember when we had to take the keys to his car about a year before he passed away, he wasn’t happy with us, but it was dangerous to continue to let him drive. Even though he was older when I had my girls, he still was the best grandpa to them, having grandpa moments and letting them crawl up on him.

My beautiful parents

I was telling my husband how blessed I was to have my father in my life. I was listening to “Dance With My Father” by Luther Vandross and it made me break down. It broke my heart when he died, I lost the first man in my life. I love you daddy, the girls are so big now and I have a husband that I know would sit down and have those long conversations with you about nothing. This is the only picture that I could find at this time, I have plenty of pictures. I can’t wait to find all my pictures for my blog! Happy Father’s Day to all great, wonderful dads!

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Family, Inspirational, Relationships Tagged With: daddy, family, father's day, husband, love

Spyware, Viruses & Pain In The…Oops

June 13, 2012 by Whitney 16 Comments

I had to buy a new computer for work on Monday. The old Dell was over 7 years old and it was my husbands computer. I clicked on a link on a website I use everyday and it had spy-ware on it. I was stressed because Microsoft wanted to charge $99 to clean the system and remove the spy-ware. The computer is old, and my husband didn’t want to spend the money on removing the spy-ware/virus and it was guaranteed for 30 days. It is such a pain to buy a new computer, all my old info is on that computer and I can’t access any of it. Files, documents, pictures it’s all lost. Had to purchase Microsoft Office 2010, haven’t installed that yet. I will not let this get me down, I still have my iMac and I love it. Wish I could do my work from my iMac, it would make life more simple. I know there are reports that iMac’s can get viruses, but I thank God I haven’t had any problems.

The virus completely messed up my day, wasn’t able to get anything else done. It took 3 hours to run a full scan on the computer, I had to give up hours I was scheduled to work. I took it in stride, nothing I could do about it. When I felt the stress coming, I said a quick prayer and a deep breath. No joke, and it helped me get through the day. I just have to watch my credit cards and other account info very closely. I may even consider changing them since most of them are debit cards. I know my husband was mad, but I was proud of him for not going completely off about it, I felt bad enough. What a costly mistake I made, but I honestly didn’t know that would happen. Kind of has me cautious about surfing my favorite websites now.

I got a new Dell laptop, I really like it since I had to get a windows based computer for work. Plus it will allow me to work when I have to go to Kansas City during this move. I also have a 3 year warranty and support against viruses, spyware and any other type of infections that will compromise my computer. Good thing, I was able to download my programs so I could work today.

In the end, it was an inconvenience and costly. We were just talking about replacing my work computer soon, but we didn’t want to do it before the move. I probably have to put off the camera I wanted for my birthday, but that’s okay. I have a brand new laptop to work from, thanks to my wonderful husband. Thanks honey!

Pictures of my new laptop, old desktop and the sunset on the drive home, very calming. No feelings were hurt or arguments happened as a result of my mistake. Have you all had this happen before and how did you handle it?

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Currently, Relationships, Work & Career Tagged With: computer, stress, the Mr, virus, work at home

Like The Dew In The Morning…..

June 11, 2012 by Whitney Leave a Comment

I went to church yesterday. I missed the last two weeks due to work and over doing it around here. There is a song by Juanita Bynum that I often sing when I’m spending time with God and meditating. It’s a simple song, but to me it means to rest and let God take your troubles away.

Like the dew in the morning, gently rest upon my heart…..

I’ve been singing it a lot lately, so that means I need to take a deep breath and gather myself and make God the center of everything. We all get off track, it’s so easy. That’s why last week was a challenge for me, everything was either irritating me or making me snap. I try not to live that way, so this morning I decided it was time to regroup, and slow this journey a bit. I can only do one thing at a time, so I’m concentrating on moving this week. I also told the girls we would go on a “field trip” every week this month, and I’m going to keep my word on that. I need time with them, we talk, I listen a lot and try to explain things to them. This week, we’ll start with the zoo. My youngest wants to go to the Arch, I’m not so sure about that. We’ll put it on the list.

Everything works better when you rest and put things into perspective, also I have clarity in the morning, that’s when I’m at my best. Most of my planning and phone calls will take place before noon, while a sistah is fresh and on top of her game. I was a mess last week, glad I took a little time and listened to God, calmed myself down. I chose to calm and let God reign on my life. I know we all have those moments, when we feel out of sorts or no control on anything. What is it that you do to regroup, or turn things around when you feel you are about to fall?

This video is by Judith Christ McAllister, she is an amazing woman of God. She did a workshop for the choir at my church in 2009, truly anointed woman and we learned a lot from her and sang out hearts out that Sunday…didn’t know I sang in the choir huh? Have a wonderful, blessed week and be encouraged!

Did you like this? Share it:

Filed Under: Inspirational, Lifestyle Tagged With: God, inspirational, overwhelmed, worship

Motherhood and the “Older” Mom

June 8, 2012 by Whitney 60 Comments

This morning I stopped at the grocery store to get my husband some ice for his cooler. I was just about out of the store and I saw this big box with the freezer pops in them. They are 35 calories, no fat, carbs and about 9 g of sugar. I decided to get them because we are all trying to watch what we eat around here, but it’s a nice cool treat when we go to the pool to hang out. I was back in line checking out and the man that was sacking the groceries said to me, and I quote…”getting treats for the grandkids?” Ummm, no I’m getting them for my daughters! I am so glad that I wasn’t having a middle aged woman moment, or I would have said something snappy or smart! I could tell that he was embarrassed, so I quickly forgave him. I know that most women my age have grown children and a few grandchildren, but let’s not assume all of us are grandparents! It just made me think about women like me who waited to have children. Trust me, I wasn’t ready to have children between the ages of 18-30, and quite frankly mature enough. After I turned 30, the pressure started coming from my family, especially my momma and sister. Momma used this one all the time…”sure would like to see some grandchildren from you before I die” Really momma? They both started young, and I saw how my sister struggled with raising my nephews who are only a few years younger than myself. I know you can’t determine what’s going to happen because even waiting until 33-1/2 to have my first, and 38 when I had my youngest, I still ended up being a single mom.

This morning before summer school

Birthday party Soccer game

Everyone has an opinion on what’s the best age to have children, and this is my answer. I believe I’m a better mother at age 49-1/2 because I waited, that was the best choice for me. I’ll admit that when I found out at 37 that I was pregnant with my youngest, it wasn’t a happy time around my house. My ex-husband didn’t speak to me for two weeks, like I got pregnant on my own! I remember all the jokes, especially about how old I would be when she turns 18. I’ll be 56 when she graduates from high school, still have plenty of living to do. I love being a mother, my girls amaze me. My oldest daughter has Asperger’s Syndrome and she is shining! She is a honor roll student, loves acting and singing. God knew what he was doing when he brought her to my life, the challenges we face and her bright future. My baby is a honor roll student as well, has energy that I can’t understand and I encourage her to enjoy her life. I talk to them about life, what to expect and what is expected of them. Yeah I love this job….wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I am a middle aged woman with two school aged girls at home, and I’m proud of it! As my girl Rene’ Syler of Good Enough Mother would say, you don’t have to be perfect, just good enough! Have a wonderful weekend, thanks for your support!

Did you like this? Share it: