One Humbling Experience

07-08-2012 01-1

If you are like me, you are a proud woman, one that works hard for everything in life.  No one has ever given me anything, I’ve always been proud of that.  When I had my oldest daughter in 1996, her dad wanted me to stay home and take care of her.  I really didn’t want to do that for two reasons, we weren’t married yet and I don’t like not having or making my own money.   I know, we’ve discussed this before, it’s a control thing.  I was working nights at the time and I couldn’t find decent childcare for my baby.  I was living in Los Angeles and the only people I knew were my in-laws and the few friends I made.  After trying unsuccessfully to find childcare, I decided to stay at home and enjoy my baby and take care of her.    I resigned from my job and that meant giving up benefits.   My ex-husband didn’t have benefits, so he couldn’t add our baby to his insurance.  I didn’t like not having insurance for her, so he suggested that I go to the state and put her on medicaid.  I was 100% reluctant, and my mother would have jumped on a plane and came to California if she knew he suggested that or that I went to apply for the benefit for my baby.  I went to the state facility to apply for medicaid for my daughter.  Employees that work for the state or government and deal with the public can be some of the most hardened people because this woman talked to me like I was asking for her money.  She wanted to know if I owned a car, had any money in the bank, if my child’s father had a car or any money in the bank.  She told me if I was not telling the truth, my baby would be denied.  She asked me why I wasn’t working and did I want to apply for welfare.  Now remember, I was postpartum so I was sitting there about to cry, but I fought it with everything inside me.  I was not gonna let that woman get the best of me.     I left with a bunch of paperwork, and I never looked back, not for one second.  I started crying the minute I got to the car.  Once I got the baby settled in her carseat and put her stroller in the trunk, I sat in the car and thought, if I have to work 3 jobs, I will never ask for assistance from the state of California again or any state.  I had a new determination as I drove home.  I never told anyone in my family about this and I was told my ex that I wasn’t taking a handout from the state of California.  He thought I was being a little unreasonable but that was his opinion and since I wasn’t his wife yet, I had to think about me and my baby.   The next day I devised a plan to move back to the midwest, where I had family and could find someone to take care of my baby while I worked.  My ex-husband said he would go with us.  It took me a year to get back to the midwest, but I did it and was working with benefits within a month.  Assistance is available to those who truly need it, I can’t judge what’s right and needed for another person.  I know for me at the time, it was a humiliating experience and humbled me to the point where I broke down cried and knew I didn’t want to live that way.  I never looked back and kept my focus on making sure my children were provided for and had what they needed to survive.  It’s what we do as parents, we want to make sure our children are provided for.   We survived that dark time, I just remembered how it made me feel.  There will always be times when you are in a position that humbles you or requires you to reevaluate a situation.  How you handle it and your outlook is what makes the difference.  I love those girls to pieces.  

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What’s Brewing At The Cafe

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Hi everyone!  I’ve missed you all and I hope I haven’t lost too many of you but life has taken me in different directions but I’m on my way back.  Here’s a few things….

Word Press changed how we could copy and share pictures so I won’t be doing my favorite Pinterest Wednesday posts anymore, or at least until I can figure out how to copy and paste the pictures into a post.  The latest update removed that feature…sorry.

WAH ~ Most of you know I work from home as an independent contractor.  It’s a challenge but it’s how I help make money for my family and the best benefit is I schedule when I want to work.  The pay isn’t bad, but it can help supplement income for your household..trying not to complain.

Entrepreneur ~ This is why I do everything I do.  I enjoy owning my business, the creativity of what I do and learning new things about running a craft business.  I put a lot of work and pride into what I do because this is me out here, I’m representing my brand.  You like my Easter hat I made?

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I’m in the planning stages of revamping my blog.  Still gonna blog about life but will include my crafting business and the ins ands outs of running a crafting business.   Continue to push forward and not stop even when I feel like things are not moving.

I have a high school graduate!!!!  I am so proud of her, my baby made it.  She’s ready to work and go to school and she’s in love….whoa!  Same guy from last year, I’m blogging about that next week and will have pictures.  To be 18 again….  

My baby is graduating from the 8th grade and she’s about to start her freshman year in high school this fall…they have grown up on me, I’m in shock.  She is a great trumpet player and will be in the marching band next school year.  I will be officially a band mom. 

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My young ladies, I enjoy being their mother, challenging at times but I love them to pieces! 

So we are bringing in the new around here.  What have you all been up to?  

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Change Is Good

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Image courtesy of rakratchada torsap

 

We resist it until we have no choice….C H A N G E.  Why are we like that?  Change is nothing but an opportunity to move you in the direction you need to go, like going towards the rainbow.  Looking beyond where you are and seeing what’s ahead of you.

 I have resisted changes or challenges and have accepted some at the front door.  Seems like I’ve been in change mode for the last 4 years, I kid you not.   Maybe we shouldn’t look at it as change, it’s what life is made up of…a winding road that turns corners, yield, stop, fork in the road and all other kind of signs.  Change is good.

My children are growing up and becoming very independent from me and it’s really starting to hit me now with my oldest about to graduate from high school.  She is so eager to start her adult life, working, continuing her education.  This change here, I’m still trying to adjust to it.  I find myself looking at pictures of them when they were my sweet little girls, so cute and adorable.   Last weekend while we were out prom shopping we were talking about how much they used to love the merry-go-round.  I asked them would they get on it and ride and let me take a picture for old times sake.  That was a negative for them.  I get it, they aren’t my little girls anymore who used to love riding the merry-go-round.  Change is good.

My mind, body and soul transitioning into maturity is a BIG change and the one I’m most resistant to.  It’s truly by the grace of God that I’ve been able to hold on and not lose my complete mind during this stage of my life.  Change is good, but God this one here…..whew!

When I became a single mother, this change scared the hell out of me.  Talk about lonely.  I had people all around me, friends, family, church family and I was alone.  I didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself so I picked myself up, regrouped and made things work.  Change is good.

My career and business goals change, I’m up early and go to bed late, making sure everything I work on gets the attention it needs.  I love what I do, I love the creativity that has finally come out and shines in my life now.   Change is good.

Whatever we go through, we have to remind ourselves that if it’s taking our lives in a different direction than what we thought, wanted or desired it’s change.  Yes we fight it, question it and sometimes cry about it.  Clear your mind, spend time and wrap your thoughts around it and if you can accept it after all that….then change is good.

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Pinterest Wednesday

Happy Wednesday, enjoy and celebrate life.  It’s Easter this weekend, give thanks and celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Quote ~ Oh yes!

101 Quotes About Easter | Easter Quotes | Christian Quotes for Easter — Faithful Provisions
Outfit ~ This is an oldie but I would wear this for Easter Sunday this weekend.
Sunday Brunch Garden Party by mswhit62 on Polyvore
Easter ~ I love fruit pizzas and this one for Easter is just right!
Fruit Pizza for Easter! With a sugar cookie crust and strawberry cream cheese
Handmade ~ Too cute and keeping up with the Easter theme.
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Pinterest Wednesday

Hope you all are having a fantabulous week!!!

Quote ~ This spoke to me on so many levels.

FREE PRINTABLE - General Confer Apr 2014 - "How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?" Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Source

Outfit ~ I love this, entered it in a contest on Polyvore.  I’m old school about matching and coordinating!

"Fedora Hat" by mswhit62 on Polyvore
Easter ~ This is a nice sweet treat instead of having candy.
Handmade ~ I love this, I feature an artist from Etsy every week. 
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Comparison Shopping ~ Brand Name vs Generic Label

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I am the CEO of the home, I pay all the bills, buy all the food, manage the budget, etc.  The other day I needed to buy some cream of mushroom and celery soup.  I normally buy Campbell’s but I looked at the price of one can of soup and decided it was time to do a little comparison shopping.  I looked to see where the generic label soup was and here was the difference ~ Campbell’s was $1.79 and the generic label was $1.00.  I looked at the labels on each and there wasn’t a difference, so I purchased the generic or store label.  The ingredients were basically the same and I honestly couldn’t see why I would pay so much more for Campbell’s.   I do it for the sake of peace at home.

 

Soup comparison

Let me give you a little history…

When I was a single mother, I would buy generic can goods and some food from Aldi.  I tried a little bit of everything, scratch & dent sales, coupons.  You name it I tried it.  Finally I decided to shop the weekly ads and that started working for me.  I would do the weekly ads and Walmart.  A co-worker came to me with this concept her church was promoting, it was a monthly program that you pay $25 and you get a box full of food, mostly staples, all of it generic label.  I did it two months and paid it forward for a friend that was struggling.  You had to pay in advance and on the first of the month, went to the church and picked up your box of food.   This worked for a while, but I didn’t like that you weren’t able to pick your food and some generic food just isn’t good, no matter how much you season it.  

Then I met my husband…

He does not buy generic anything, not one thing.  I explained to him when you are a single parent with two children, a mortgage, car payment and other bills, you budget, budget and budget.  I can remember eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches which was fine as long as my girls were able to eat a decent meal.  He called me cheap, I told him whatever.  I agreed not to buy generic for his sake and my sanity, but at times I can’t help it.  

It’s tough out there right now, gas in our area is reaching the $4 per gallon status, groceries are expensive and it’s more expensive to eat healthy.  I keep working that budget, rearranging things and try to make the best of what we have.  I’ve cut back a lot for the sake of the budget. 

What about you, do you shop generic or brand name?  Please share.

 

 

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Pinterest Wednesday

Hope you are having a good week, hang in there!!

Quote ~ Let’s do our part to rid this world of hate

NO: Sexism, Racism, Ableism, homophobia, fatphobia, transphobia or general hatefulness allowed. You WILL be asked to leave. (Beside a raised fist on a tattooed arm)
Outfit ~ Springtime!!!!
"Mint & Beige Color Combo" by mswhit62 on Polyvore
Easter ~ Nice centerpiece 
Peeps and #Flower Arrangement| http://flower-arrangement-278.blogspot.com
Handmade ~ Isn’t this just pretty?
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Teach and Love With Truth

 

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I take my role as a mother very seriously as most of you do.  I want them to reach for the stars, try new things and live the best life.  I could handle their activities when they were younger, it was tight but I did it.  As they get older, that price doubles at times triples!  It’s hard telling them at times we can’t afford certain activities but I promised myself I would always tell them the truth.   I don’t go into detail but I explain to them the reason why we can’t do a certain activity.  Do they always understand, no but they are troopers and show me they can handle the truth.  

I was a very active teenager, I wasn’t in everything…let’s just say I did have my picture in the yearbook more than just the class section.  Yes, I went to high school several generations ago, but my parents had to tell me that I couldn’t participate in a certain activity.  The one that comes to mind and will always be the most vivid is missing prom in my senior year.  I went to prom in my sophomore year as an user, twice in my junior year, but I missed my senior year.  All my friends went our senior year, all of them.  They came by my house right before they went to prom and let me see them all dressed up and pretty.  My momma’s thinking was I went twice the year before, this last one wasn’t bad.  I was crushed, but I survived it.  Don’t feel bad, I was able to attend all the other senior activities and eventually got over missing the prom.  

When my mother was my age and going through menopause I didn’t understand a thing about what she was going through.  Momma was the kind of woman that kept personal stuff to herself.  She may have shared it with her friends, and I’m sure my daddy knew but I didn’t.  I was a young adult at the time.  My girls ask me when something isn’t right, they know when I’m out of whack.  I just explain that I’m tired and my youngest always ask me, why are you so tired?  I explained to my daughter that I’m at that age when things start to change and some days are better than others, which includes me being tired all the time.  I told her that all women will go through this at one point in their life.  I always try to keep it light but discuss life with them, it’s so important.

The truth also includes making sure my girls understand how to respect and understand when someone with a certain amount of wisdom speaks to them and at times has a lesson to share.  This is the stage that we are entering now, about being a young woman, what to seek in life and how to recognize the truth in people.  My momma didn’t talk much about life with me, and I understand why.  I talk about life everyday to my girls, I tell them how much I love them and how proud I am of them.  I want them to have confidence and not lack from not understanding that life happens.  That’s the best truth I can share with them.

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Pinterest Wednesday

Hey everyone!  Wishing you all a great mid week.  Enjoy!

Quote ~ Unless you had yourself cloned!

Outfit ~ My daughter likes both of these dresses for prom, which one do you all like?  They are both on sale.

Trixxi Plus Size Strapless Ombre Gown
Easter ~ Aren’t these just pretty?
Easter egg cookie inspiration
Handmade ~ I love handmade wreaths.  Don’t laugh, but I would love to learn how to do this.
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Pinterest Wednesday

My favorite day of the week for my blog is back!  Enjoy!

Quote ~ Let it go….

The Past is Behind You
Outfit ~ This dress has been all over my social media, it’s grown and sexy.  The model looks like KeKe Wyatt. 
Youtheary Khmer Spring 2014 Viva Collection on The Curvy Fashionista
Easter ~ This is a pretty for a simple centerpiece.  
Easter centerpiece ~ Easter egg vase....I can use my real eggs! Love Easter time! Family and friends time! #easter #bunny #moments
Handmade ~ These are just too cute.
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